View From the Road

A View From the Road: New Years’ (HD) Resolutions


It’s a brand new year and a brand new decade. Time for some resolutions about online gaming that I’ll invariably break within three weeks or so! Oh please, you know you do the same thing.

I resolve to actually decide on Empire vs. Republic for Star Wars: The Old Republic. At this point it feels like I’ve been waffling more than a Belgian breakfast. Yeah, the Sith are cool and all, but I’ve always tended towards the “good guy” end of the spectrum – Order instead of Destruction, Alliance instead of Horde, etc. And, come on, who doesn’t want to play as Han Solo? But every time I get close to deciding, “Right, I’ll be Republic,” I start thinking, “But it would be so awesome to be like the Emperor and blast lightning from my hands…” Time to make up your mind, me!

I resolve to take the time to create a hand-made character in Champions Online rather than just smashing “Random” until I find something cool. The character generator is so huge and kind of intimidating that every time I decide I want to start anew, I get to meticulously picking out my character’s headwear, realize how long it’s taken, and then just go “Aw, screw it” and randomize. I should do it properly one of these days.

I resolve to finally get around to finishing up my Loremaster achievement in World of Warcraft. For those not in the know, Loremaster is obtained by completing almost every quest in all four of the game’s continents. I’ve cleaned up Burning Crusade‘s Outland and Wrath of the Lich King‘s Northrend, leaving only ~200 low-level quests in Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms, the original two continents from the game’s launch. The quests are easy and I can solo every single one of them as a big badass level 80… but the content is just so boring and painful to slog through. Anyone who says the questing in TBC and WotLK isn’t miles beyond Classic WoW is blind or a liar, or both.

I really just need to get a fifth of Jack Daniels and spend the better part of a weekend completing the damn achievement to get my title before Cataclysm destroys it all and replaces it with better quests that don’t suck so hard.

I resolve to use a weapon other than the Assault Rifle in Left 4 Dead 2 for once. The good old M16 is powerful, accurate at a decent range, and has a high rate of fire, but I feel like I’m always missing something by zooming straight for it once the round of Scavenge starts. Why don’t I try something different for a change – like an auto-shotgun or a sniper rifle? There’s plenty more stuff out there to kill zombies dead – er, to kill them deader – I just need to find it.

I resolve to have better raid attendance in WoW. The Lich King isn’t just going to kill himself, you know – and where would my guild be without my awesome Feral Druid murderin’ skillz? Nowhere, that’s where.

I resolve to unlock the extra Demoman and Soldier weapons in TF2. It was a real shame that both of my most-played classes got updated at once, because I couldn’t join a server without it being filled to the brim with Soldiers and Demomen, and it made me really not want to play. Has the flood died down yet? Anyone know?

I resolve to actually play Dragon Age. Okay, it’s not an online game, but it is an RPG – but it’s so huge that I kind of wonder if I haven’t missed my window of opportunity for playing it over the holidays. This year’s Q1 and Q2 aren’t as empty as the first half of last year, and I might be too caught up with Bayonetta and Dark Void to actually give BioWare’s mammoth a try – and once Mass Effect 2 comes out, forget it!

I resolve to log in to Aion for a reason other than just “ooh, look at the pretties” for once. There is an actual game there, and I should play it instead of just standing around in Sanctuary admiring how beautiful my female character is. Wait, that sounds creepy. Can we erase this one?

And finally, I resolve to stop writing holiday-themed columns. After all, we’re in January and hence all out of holidays to celebrate, and … ooh, wait, I forgot about Martin Luther King Day. “I Have A Dreamwalker Robe,” anyone?

John Funk doesn’t remember any of his 2009 New Years’ resolutions.

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