Fans of George R. R. Martin's book series probably have no trouble following along with the lavish Game of Thrones series, but those new to the material might have had a hard time telling Westeros from Winterfell. If you're a longtime fan, you'll definitely want to check out The Escapist's commentary on the series, but if you're a confused newbie, fear not! We'll be here with your weekly recap to help you keep it all straight. Or at least as straight as we can keep anything involving the Lannisters, anyway. We'll be doing these recaps each week. Let's go!
We're trying something a little different with this week's recap. Rather than go through the show blow-by-blow, I'm going to give you the broad brush strokes of what happened, so that we can get right to discussing what it all might mean.
This week was a big one for whiners. Bran was getting all salty because his mother wasn't at Winterfell when he woke up. Theon Greyjoy was put out that his whore of choice didn't necessarily prefer his ministrations to those of Tyrion Lannister. Lord Renly was complaining that his brother, King Robert "Fat Bob" Baratheon, didn't think he was a real man because he'd never seen battle. (His lover, the Knight of Flowers, thinks he'd make a swell king and offers to bankroll him, so it's not all doom and gloom for the younger Baratheon.) Gregor Clegane, aka The Mountain, was very annoyed that he lost a joust during the tournament and chose to vent his spleen by chopping off his horse's head, trying to kill the knight who unhorsed him, and then attacking his brother. All in all, a lot of people were feeling very, very sorry for themselves.
Despite the fact that he actually has a pretty decent reason to be sulky, Tyrion is still in pretty fine fettle as he and Catelyn make their way towards Cat's sister's place. While they're stopped, Catelyn has the conversation with Tyrion that I've been having with the TV for several weeks when he points out that it's pretty damn stupid to arm an assassin with your own knife. Then the entire group is attacked by members of the hill tribes and rather than run away, Tyrion defends Cat by beating her attacker to death with a shield. He is a very, very complicated little man.
We can't have an episode of Game of Thrones without at least one uncomfortable nude scene, and this week's was brought to your courtesy of Catelyn's sister, Lysa. The widow of the late Jon Arryn still breast feeds her son, despite the fact that he's practically old enough to shave. We witness this therapy-inducing scene when Catelyn brings her prisoner, Tyrion, before Lysa so that he might be held accountable for his crimes. (Specifically killing Jon Arryn and trying to kill Bran. It is awfully hard to keep track with him, admittedly.) It would appear that Tyrion's claim that Lysa was fully on board the train to loonytown was spot on. He gets tossed into one of The Eyrie's unique dungeons anyway.