All week, we've been showering you with much more terror than you get from your biweekly journey into Dark Dreams, from scary video and tabletop games to terrifying movies both well known and obscure - even a foray into comic books so scary they were banned. None of these things, however, is on this list. This is the list of things that scare the pants off of us, that leave us heaving in terror upon the ground, nearly vomiting. That cause us such existential dread we stop speaking, or end conversations, or sit up at night wondering. That make you stop playing for the day, or pause the movie, or turn off the TV and go hug a pet.
Okay. Here we go, dear readers. This is the scariest stuff there is.
Well, this year, at least.
Never has something inspired "You couldn't pay me enough!" and "Nope nope nope!" quite like McKamey Manor Extreme Haunted House, but for some folks a corn field maze just doesn't cut it for Halloween. This extreme haunted house touts that you can live out your own horror film, and it has been criticized for basically being legal torture. For those wanting to take their scares to another level, there's not too many places like it. Unlike your average haunted house that lasts 20 minutes with a few teenagers dressed as skeletons and somebody's dad with a chainsaw trying to jump scare you, McKamey Manor is a two to four hour (variable length, you know, so you don't know when it's going to end) experience to eat away at your sanity and resolve. The actors can and will touch you with scrapes, cuts, bruises not uncommon. All manner of unsavory liquids and creepy crawly creatures are also involved. All that said, there waiting list is reported to be over 17,000. To even enter you must first read their warning page and sign a waiver, in addition to being over the age of 21. Yeah, nope. I'm good.
One odd twist is that it's free, with the only cost of entry being four cans or one bag of dog food. I'm not sure whether it makes it better or worse that they are doing this altruistically.