LoveFAQ is a new weekly advice column for geeks, by geeks about love, life and maxing out your romance meter. Got questions for LoveFAQs? Send them to [email protected]
I haven't been out on a good date in years (too many years). My problem is: I'm surrounded by men! I work predominantly with men, my hobbies mostly involve men, and my friends are mostly men. Where do I go to meet some women? I just can't seem to find the right place/hobby/location. Help me!
I promise, CB: Nobody's smuggled the ladies away somewhere, stashing them in some secret volcano hideout. We're everywhere. In your subways and supermarkets, your bookstores and gaming forums. We're like the aliens in They Live, except you don't need sunglasses to see us.
Okay, maybe you do. Because I wonder if the issue here isn't so much that you can't figure out where the single ladies are - but rather you have trouble seeing them when they're right in front of you.
Still, even if you don't encounter many women on a day-to-day basis, that's no excuse to stay single. All those guys you work and game and hang with? Each one of them has sisters and friends, neighbors and coworkers. WoW guildmates. D&D regulars. Con buddies. Forum friends. All are potential connections in the making - and these women know women, who know women, and so on.
All you need to do is ask. Rely on your social network to catch the fish you can't. (And you thought Farmville was just a waste of time. It's practice!)
Of course, doing so means you'll have to actually tell your friends, coworkers and gaming buddies that you're on the market, which, no matter who you are, can feel embarrassing- maybe even a little desperate.
But finding love requires putting yourself on the line a little. Nothing's safe in love and war, and dating doesn't exactly come with a no-fail mode.
In the meantime, keep broadening your circle by trying new activities. Cooking lessons, jiu jitsu classes, volunteering, saving kittens from burning trees - anything that gets you out of the house is an opportunity to build your friend list and random encounter the opposite sex.
In the end, however, you might find the most success if you try just befriending more women first. Look at ladies not just as potential sex partners - that is, as a means to an end - but as worthy of friendship for their own sake. Practice building those relationships, and you might find it much easier to stumble upon the other kind as well.