LoveFAQ is a weekly advice column for geeks, by geeks about love, life and maxing out your romance meter. Got questions for LoveFAQs? Send them to [email protected].
Dear Love FAQ,
Over the years I've made tons of friends, some of whom happen to be women. In past relationships, though, I've always been told that no one can truly be friends with the opposite sex.
My new girlfriend, however, is fine with me going out with female friends. Of course, my other friends say, "No way could she actually be okay with that", but I'm pretty sure she is. I know she trusts me.
What do you think? Is it possible?
No Girls Allowed
Dear No Girls Allowed,
When Harry Met Sally is the worst thing to happen to gender relations since entailment. Kids, if you learned it in a Meg Ryan movie, unlearn it. Fast.
Of course you can be friends with the opposite sex. It's insulting to both genders to assume that all humans (but let's be fair here; the finger usually points at men) are so consumed with their genitals that they're incapable of thought beyond which warm and wriggly thing to jam up against next. Fourteen-year-olds, maybe. But not the rest of us.
Yes, opposite-gender friendships require a certain level of maturity, not to mention a successful escape from the hormonal prison of your pubescence. And some people will never feel comfortable making the leap. But that's an individual thing; some people feel likewise incapable of making same-sex friends.
If your girlfriend trusts you, and you trust her, then what does it matter what anyone else thinks? Go hang out with your girls. She'll chill with the boys. Everyone else can stuff it.
Dear Love FAQ,
I'm a busy guy. I work full time and go to law school. If I toss in some gym time, then I'm out of the house from 8 am until 11 at night. I have been on a few first dates, but with my nifty schedule, no repeat business. I can't fault girls for not wanting to play third fiddle.
So any advice on how to make time for more commitment?
No Time For Love, Dr. Jones
Dear Dr. Jones,
You think it's hard to find time now? Imagine if you had a girlfriend. Women aren't like Chia Pets, you know. You can't just water them every couple of days and expect them to sprout.
So hold off on dating for now. Get your shit done first, then worry about love. And don't feel guilty about it. You're working on making you better, and in the grand scheme of things, that's actually higher priority than finding the perfect girl. (Indeed, the former tends to lead to the latter.)
If it's just sex you want, well, there's a myriad of ways to score no-strings nookie, from bar-hopping to Craigslist Casual Encounters. Just use protection, and remember: five-fingered Rosie will always wait up for you, no matter how late you come home.