LoveFAQ is a weekly advice column for geeks, by geeks about love, life and maxing out your romance meter. Got questions for LoveFAQs? Send them to [email protected].
Dear Love FAQ,
I used to struggle with confidence, but moving to a different school did wonders for my self-esteem. Now I can walk through the halls confident and proud, and I don't insult myself every time I look in the mirror.
But I still can't manage to find a girlfriend. I've been told I'm smart, funny, charming, and cute and one of my best friends, a girl, told me that I could get any girl I wanted. So why am I having so much trouble?
Seventeen Ain't So Sweet
Easy. Because you strut your stuff like a boss.
No, really. Seventeen-year-olds who have their shit together are intimidating, especially to other teenagers. For those who aren't as sure of themselves - which, let's be honest, describes 99.7% of the under-18 crowd - seeing someone who actually likes himself at that age can be a little, well, scary.
That's not to say you shouldn't be confident or proud, or worse, that you should try to hide it - quite the opposite, in fact. Ladies (especially the sane, stable ones) love a man with confidence. But they simply may not believe that someone as put-together as you would ever be interested in someone as shy or boring or [insert adjective here] as them.
So don't play coy. If you have a girl you like, go after her. Or don't.
Either way, don't stress over it. You're only 17, and you've got your whole life ahead of you to date around. It'll happen, probably the moment you stop looking for it.
Dear Love FAQ,
I'm a twenty-something college student and am starting to sexually fantasize about my current English professor. She's smart, geeky and enthusiastic, like an older, hotter schoolgirl.
I'm fairly certain that she's single, or at least divorced, but I know better than to act on my fantasies -- or even give her any hint - since, even though we're both adults, it would mark the end of our respective educational careers.
My question is: should I stop these fantasizing about her? Or, as long as I don't take it too far, should I just enjoy it while it lasts?
-- I've Got It Bad, So Bad
Fantasize about her as much and as wantonly as you like - as long as it stays in your head. Oh, I know the temptation exists to try to turn your fantasies into reality, but your instincts are dead on: Currently she holds a position of authority over you, and pursuing her while you're still her student can only lead to ruin.
Once the semester's over, however...
Well, it's like you said: You're both adults. Use your imagination.