Chinese Unearth Ancient Cure for Gaming Addiction
State sponsored internet addiction camps in China have recently rediscovered a time honored cure for addiction: Fatal Beating Therapy (FBT). The cure has been up to 100% effective in the cases of addiction that it's been used to treat. This success rate surpasses other Chinese treatments such as shock therapy and bamboo under the fingernails.
Jiao Kong, a councilor at a particularly successful internet addiction camp, said, "Even if the procedure isn't completely successful it can still heal damage done to children by videogames. Your kids deserve to be free from the dangers of playing games or live in fear that they may wake up someday and not want to toil their lives away in a garment factory. "
American scientists are already looking at FBT as a cure for other deviant childhood behavior such as hyperactivity (ADD), depression, and your daughter hanging around that 'good for nothing' Johnson boy.