My friend Trevor is holding the red vine mid-way to his mouth. He knows he's screwed up and he seems to be wondering if he can play it off, as if he didn't do anything wrong.
"What?" he says again.
"I can't believe you just said that."
"So you haven't gotten to that part yet?" He lowers the red vine. The jig is up.
"No, fucker. Why else would I be pissed? God. You're such a dick. All you guys."
"I didn't say anything," Douglas notes. "Why am I a dick?"
"Am I a dick, too?" Mike asks. "I wasn't even talking about BioShock."
"You two were arguing about whether Atlas was Irish or Scottish. And then Trevor said that. You guys know I haven't been able to play very much. I told you before that I just started and I barely got into it. I told you not to give anything away."
"So you didn't know that Atlas is a vampire? You didn't get to that part yet?" Trevor asks.
"Well for fuck's sake, stop saying it."
"What, like you might forget it if we don't say it any more?" Douglas asks.
"I'm not even at that part yet, and I've been playing for a week," Mike says. Mike sucks at all games. He takes a lot longer than the rest of us.
"Look, I'm sorry, I thought you'd at least gotten to the moonbase," Trevor says.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, shut the fuck up already."
"Oh, you're not even there?"
"No, I'm still in the goddamn Medical Pavilion. There's a fucking moonbase?"
"Well, yeah, but it's a ways after the Medical Pavilion. You don't get to the Rocket Sub Bay until about three levels past that. Maybe four."
"Well don't tell me where it is. Just shut up already. God, you guys suck."
"I don't suck," Mike says. "I wasn't even talking about it."
I hate being behind the playing curve. You miss out on the immediacy of that watercooler talk about a game. You can only get that as you're playing it. Once you're done and you've moved on to another game, the talk assumes a different quality. The quality of guys looking back, from a perspective totally different than yours. It's like watching the Season Two DVDs of Lost and then trying to have a conversation with someone who's current on it. It just doesn't work.
"Oh, so Sawyer hasn't taken the guns yet?" they'll ask, and you'll have no idea what they're talking about. "Do you know about Jacob?"