2011 Billboard Top 100 Review: #9-5

Just two more reviews. Almost there!

#9: "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5 feat. Christina Aguilera

Well, I like some Maroon 5 songs. Don't really care too much for Christina, though, unless it is a song from a Disney movie, because "Mulan" had a great soundtrack (ignoring the song from that 98 Degrees boy band, who I'd completely forget about if Drew Lachey wasn't going to be on the next season of "Dancing With the Stars"...again.).

This song is not very good. It has a great beat to dance to, but the lyrics really are not that good. It's another song with the lead singer trying to hit on a girl by bragging about having, well, see the title. That's the main problem with this song, really. Bragging about having moves like Mick Jagger is like bragging about having the acting talent of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sure, it's an easily recognizable name, but not for the reasons you are saying it. As for Christina's verse, it is sung well without any soul, and forgettable. The song is nice to listen to, but not listen to, if you catch my drift. A disappointment, considering how unique Maroon 5 songs usually are.

#8: "Super Bass" by Nicki Minaj

Nothing really to add to my past comments on Nicki Minaj. Basically, she is hit and miss, and her misses are really annoying. Oh, and she is a judge on "American Idol" now. Go figure.

This song is not all that good. Nicki tries, rapping decently and not going crazy, and the beat is pretty decent. Somehow, though, Nicki's style doesn't work all that well talking about how much this guy has made her fall for him. That's basically what the song is about. I hesitate to call any of Nicki's songs "generic", but that's exactly what this song is. It's not good, it's not bad, it's...there. You'll hear it, and maybe sing along for a bit, but it'll be gone before long. It would be much better if it were referring to a great fish.

#7: "Fuck You" by Ceelo Green

First off, after this song, I will have reviewed at least one song by every member of The Voice's judging panel. Secondly, Ceelo Green...really does not look like a pop star.

I love this song. The backing music reminds me of 80's or 70's TV shows, like "Happy Days" or "Cheers", which is a great thing, to me. Ceelo Green has a unique singing voice, something that does not mean "bad" in his case. The lyrics are the strength of this song, though. Basically, Ceelo is tearing down his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend viciously, describing her very brutally as being a money-hungry bitch. However, it is clear that, despite his words, he still misses his girl, he's just upset about how she treated him. I don't care what Glee says, by the way. This song is called "Fuck You", end of subject. Just to give you an idea how much I liked this song, this is the only song I immediately replayed after it finished. It never gets old, and is a very unique song. What more could you ask for?

#6: "Grenade" by Bruno Mars

Woo. A third Bruno Mars song. Joy.

OK, this song has a pretty decent beat, if repetitive. Nice keyboard line. But Bruno Mars does not have the right voice to tear down an ex-girlfriend, and that's what the song is about. The lyrics don't help, mind you. Seriously, he actually calls the girl a demon, accuses her of being a backstabbing bitch, and even trying to kill him. Problem is, he talks about how he'd do all these things for her, and she's just so unappreciative. Every time I hear songs like this, I start wanting to hear the other side of it. And almost every time, I never get it, and it irks me. It's nice to listen to, but Bruno Mars couldn't be more passive-aggressive if he tried.

#5: "Give Me Everything" by Pitbull feat. Ne-Yo, Afrojack, and Nayer

Wow. Pitbull again, this time with a guy who doesn't have any songs I know off the top of my head besides "Closer", someone who's name makes me think of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and a woman who I can't think of anything she's done. That's...a bad sign. Well, other than the FiM thing. I have no feelings about that. Don't kill me, bronies and Pegasisters!

As for the song...it is good, in the chorus that has nothing to do with Pitbull. Everything else sucks. Pitbull cannot use words well. I don't think he knows lyrics are supposed to make sense, not just be product placement ("Picture that with a Kodak, or better yet, go to Times Square and take a picture of me with a Kodak") and pop culture references ("I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan"). Ne-yo, on the other hand, actually does a decent job on the chorus, talking about how he wants to spend tonight with a girl, and wants her to give him everything, because they might not get tomorrow. OK, I swear, it sounds a lot less rapey when he does it!

As for Afrojack, he has a verse that repeats a few times, talking about how good he is going to make the woman feel. It has a better message than Ne-yo's verse, but Ne-yo is a better singer. As for Nayer...talk about wasted. Her contribution is a whispered "I don't care what they say, I want you tonight" at the end of the chorus, nearly lost in the beat, which is also pretty good. Overall, this song is more miss than hit. The lyrics are either bad (Ne-yo), poorly performed (Nayer, Afrojack), or both (Pitbull), and as good as the beat is, it isn't good enough to hide that.

One more review left. The last 4 songs have to be good, right?!

Previously: #14-10
Next: #4-1

I don't give a shit about Pitbull or Bruno Mars. "Fuck you" is one of the best popsongs that will sadly be remembered for its censored version. Nicky Minaj raps, but puts a "not that bad" chorus.

I find Maroon 5's "Moves like Jagger" interesting. It's on my jogging list, but it's there only at the end to put some rythm at the end of my training. (When I'm very tired and managed to burn around 1000 calories on a cardio machine). Anyhow, "Moves like Jagger" has a fun beat, but it has weird lyrics like you said. It does feel like a "artist has sold-out" song. (Although, it is Maroon 5. Let's not sell our selves short).

What I'm interested though is Christina's verse. Especially when she says "And if I share my secret, you're gonna have to keep it. Nobody else can see this". You can put 5000 jokes in there. Sometimes though, you can think something and once you did, you can't forget it...

Im with RAM when he says those things about Pitbull and Bruno Mars... but oddly enough i could never really get into Moves Like Jagger either, dont get me wrong i like some of Maroon 5's music but this is one i just could never get into myself *shrugs* as for F*** You... its a solid song out of Ceelo Green and a highly enjoyable song up to about the 100th time it was played on radios.

i have never looked at a full billboard top list before this and all i can say is this year is sad. a lot of absolute crap, and complete mediocrity. most of the good songs are performed by artists with better songs from past years out there. i only put 4 songs with the artist at the top of their game rolling in the deep, pumped up kicks, fuck you, and E.T(and the last two have major qualifiers being im not taking into account the work Cee Lo did with Gnarls Barkley, or Kayne's verse in E.T which is shit).


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