What do you think the above users deepest darkest secrets are?

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His parents where killed by a chimney sweep.

His parents raised him to hate Christmas!

Was raised by trial and error.

His mum took his spiked eggnog and gave it to the Christmas carolers

King of Portugal.

Is constantly tipsy.

Drinks nonalcoholic beer.

Is addicted to placebos.

Only pretends to like beer; he much prefers ginger ale

Doesn't know who Bruce Campbell is.

Went insane and started killing all her friends, because of a mysterious curse on the village

Doesn't have an actual boomstick.

Is really angry each time you see him smiling at you...

Hates everyone here unconsciously.

Loves everyone here unconsciously.

Loves everyone here unconditionally.

Never uses conditioner.

Doesn't know what conditioner is.

Gel's his hair.

Has no hair.

Uses a wig.

Has too much hair.

Has Pokemon porn on his computer

Sleeps on a bed made of burritos.

Never had a burrito before.

Creates alternate methods to wash cars.

Betrayed Leia to the Empire

Has a crush on Luke!

Is really your uncle.

Is addicted to the Escapist

His heart is actually very warm.

Hart is only mildly cold.

His heart is on fire.

Has no heart.

Completely removed their heart and placed it in a jar

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