Vote for me to ensure 40% fewer spontaneous combustions.
Vote for me and I'll fix the Escapist!
(seriously, what's going on now?)
vote for me and receive this half drunk bottle of bleach absolutely free!
Vote for me and I will force EA to make Bioware an independent studio again.
Vote for me and I'll sign your babies face!
Vote for me and there will be enough grapes to feed the entire nation!
Vote for me, it gives me obscene pleasure!
A vote for me means a vote for egotistical self enrichment.
If you vote for me, I may not harm this badger.
Vote for me and nobody may never find out about your past crimes under the Tsars.
Vote for me, and I'll lock up all middle schoolers in the world in a large arena and have them kill each other for our amusement a'la Battle Royale.
Vote for me and I'll have the Star Wars prequels and The Hobbit remade with less CGI, better acting, writing and direction, and a lot more practical effects.
Vote for me and nothing shall change. Trust me, you don't want things to change.
Vote for me and it'll be free ribs for all! :D
Vote for me and I'll put cheese on them!
A vote for me is a vote for votes! Every vote counts as two votes, and each of those also counts as two votes, and so on... Basically, if you vote for me, I get an infinity of votes. Sounds good to me...
Vote for me and Trivun goes back in the chair.
* * *
Vote for me and everyone will get their very own dragon steed!
Vote for me for I have pants.
Vote for me and I'll offer a free upgrade to any pants.
vote for me and everyone will get shiny new pants!
Vote for me and nobody might never find out what you did that one time.
Vote for me and we will all wield the power of gods!
Vote for me and I'll shoot this muthafucka! Ahahahahaha!
Vote for me and I will kick ass for you!
Vote for me and get a free cantaloupe, because I hate them and I've got a greenhouse full of the damn things!
Vote for me, I will make us all dragon knights.
Vote for me and I will actually kill the Teletubbies.
Vote for me, or I will barbeque and eat you.
Vote for me and Donald Trump shall be labeled as an illegal immigrant.
Vote for me and every other candidate will disappear overnight.
Vote for me, and I will destroy your enemies for YOU!
Vote for me and bottle caps shall become the new world currency.
Vote for me and I'll dedicate one day a month to nationwide slap-fighting.
Vote for me as I don't look like a total spam most days.