My elder brother is obsessed to gambling. He has lost almost all his savings. His wife has left him because of his gambling but he is least bothered about it. He has started taking my money without my permission. He is getting death threats from the creditors and I don't know how to deal this situation.
I think everything will be fine once he stops his gambling. One of my friends said it would be better to take him to an addiction counseling centre in Vancouver ( http://www.canadadrugrehab.ca/drug-alcohol-treatment/outpatient-addiction-counselling/first-nations/ ) asap. I would be grateful if you could share your experience with counseling. Is it worth spending money? I want my brother to stop his addiction and lead a happy life. Any suggestions are highly appreciated. Thanks!!
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Gambling addiction is pretty hard to attack directly. You could try IPT ... getting him to confronjt how he's hurt his family, but I have the feeling that it won't do much if he doesn't even care that he has torpedoed his relationship to his wife. It represents a degree of narcissism that may lead to him deflecting or placing the blame for his addiction on others, or trying to generate sympathy as leverage. Which is something your family might fall into said trap ghiven that, well, you're still there trying to help him.
So various forms of intervention sessions won't assist, yet they are typically the best way to modify one's behaviour towards others.
You have to cut him off from the means to supply his addiction.
You mentioned he was stealing money? If this is due to access to family assets he does not directly control but can still thieve from you and your expanded family members, you could threaten to get the police involved to force the point that it's either rehabilitation or pressing charges. That might giveyou the leverage and upper hand in forcing a resolution... but don't hope for much if you're emotionally incapable of forcing him into said intractable situations.
My sympathies, truly. I've seen cases where various forms of behavioural addiction tears families apart, and even if a positive outcome develops ... often the scars run all too deep to ever truly forget or forgive. You might help the addict, but I think you should be prepared for the possibility that this is going to leave enduring pains.
The solution often has as much to do with the addict's family and friends forming a cohesive action planas it does external sources of help (Counsellors, etc). So my advice would be to co-ordinate thoroughly within your circles. The last thing you want is that chink in the armour that an addict can exploit without your knowledge. That is going to be painful and you really might want to consider seeing whether you can access counselling for the stress and anguish that may result.
At the very least, if you think the death threats have a basis in being a realistic danger to his wellbeing, you should inform the police. Even if it uncovers various criminality on your brother's part... after all, they may turn their attentions to you and your other family to seek compensation. These people make a living through coercion, after all. Moreover, if you knowingly allow your brother to steal money to fund criminal enterprises, and you're found in liability of the duty to act, the police may have some serious questions for you. Which will rarely find conviction but may cost you in various legal fees and further problems.