Zero Punctuation: BioShock 2

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Is it just me or does neither Bioshock have a satisfactory conclusion - the boss fight in the original was sub-par and generally ragged on as being the worse part of the game - so when it came to the sequel they thought what? Well we won't bother here's a shed-load of the same guys you've been killing for the last two levels who are going to gank you, or at least would if we hadn't given you enough power-ups and eve so you're juiced off your tits and can beat them down easily.

My biggest critism is the last two levels though, nothing new is introduced enemy wise and the story doesn't develop so much as gets padded - even the tapes you find laying around are much of a muchness, like they thought they'd finished the game and played it, realised it's way too fucking short and added another two levels in there lunchbreak. All this leaves is a bad taste as it's the end of the game, I'm walking away and if you think I'll walk back to Bioshock 3 (Sheffield Wednesday 2 - see, I can do that joke aswell) then you've got another thing coming!

Unless I could play as a vending machine - that'd be hilarious, just sneak up to splicers and fall on them...

"Stop opening the fucking windows" - I lol'd!
I expect this has been said, but the big sisters attack you for taking the little ones out of cirulation and disturbing the balance.

But seriously, in Bioshock 3 you will in fact play as an adam rich sea slug.

Did'ja you could eat underwater at points?
Atom Nutrient Retrevial is right.

"Press X for Staff Discount" that is so true!

I've always said that Bioshock was fine by itself and a sequel would always be superflous.

Tranmere Rovers, did not see that one coming. Made me chuckle.

Yahtzee would have to make the worst big brother ever, "so i just left her there beside her big brother, stop crying you little bitch im trying to eat these cake". Another great review

hahaha I can't wait to play as a vending machine lol.

Yahtzee will proboly rewiv mass effect 2 next week although I


want to hear what he thinks about Heavy Rain

so its just a copy paste of the first game.
Not surprised

Yeah, no way I am playing this since I was not a fan of the first one. Very funny video though, I wonder if all the fanboy-ish types could enjoy it since it was... arggh....AAAHAHHAGGG.....errTime to purchase Battlefield Bad Company 2...battle...field...badcompany2..............

This was a great review, but he left out a few things that also SUCKED about this sequel

1) When hacking a vending machine, the items don't decrease in value until you have the stupid hacking tonic

2) The camera in this game take too long to examine an enemy and hinders gameplay

and 3) THE F#[email protected] MULTIPLAYER!!! For one, you can't play it locally (like in halo, which it's basically ripping off), you need to first be on LIVE, and have had to shell out money for a gold membership. Not to mention own the G-D DAMN game. It is also way too absurd with all the hacked turrets you need to avoid and the crazy little sisters that have a temper tantrum in your arms when trying to capture them.

These are the things that annoyed me the most about this game.

Ya know what I've noticed? It seems that when a game company creates a popular game, the creators tend to make sequels that don't really go anywhere. They hope that the same formula that made the first game popular would carry their success. This strategy seems to work for about the first 3 or 4 games but after that even fans grow tired of it. For example, the resident evil series first three games pretty much play the same way and it isn't until Resident Evil 4 comes out that the formula is changed. Sadly, the company didn't learn from their mistakes and RE5 was too similar to RE4 and the things they added at best was functional.

I have a feeling Bioshock will end the same way. I felt fulfilled at the end of BS1. It had an ending that wrapped everything up nicely and it didn't even occur to me that a sequel was needed so it was a little shocking when i heard about BS2. But, I guess i shouldn't have been surprised considering how well BS1 sold... but anyway the first thing that made me scratch my head was when they released the news that you could play as a Big Daddy. At first i thought it was a bad joke but then when i saw the screen shots i just shook my head like a disappointed father. It wasn't until i heard they were adding multiplayer that I knew this was a lost cause. I had a feeling that the single player would be sacrificed for the creation of multiplayer. Even though Yahtzee didn't touch it, I'd still like to know what it was like... I hope it was worth the sacrifice but i doubt it.

He must still be trying to bootleg Alens Vs. Predator into his country. Seems like just the right game for him. Now he can run around mutilating and ripping off the heads of all those generic space marines he hates so much.

It wasn't really that bad. The plot was a little weird, but there were some interesting moments, like the one towards the end that I can't really describe without being a huge spoiler after you first find Eleanor.

Overall it didn't quite have the "This is the exact same game" feel that Halo 3 did after Halo 2, but that owes more to the addition of new enemies that were actually interesting, and the revamp of the research system (fighting enemies while the camera takes video, instead of sitting there spamming film on the same target repeatedly until it says "YOU HAVE TAKEN TOO MANY PICTURES KILL IT ALREADY").

But at the end, throwing on all of your drill tonics, fully upgrading the drill, and having Winter Blast 3, the game became "FREEZE DRILL CHARGE FREEZE DRILL CHARGE FREEZE DRILL CHARGE" and did, in fact, just boil down to completely broken. More entertaining of a completely broken than it could have been, though. I'd still say it's worth the fun.

What's with the giant, intrusive BATTLEFIELD BAD COMPANY advert that smears itself across the screen when you try to watch the video? The review was as entertaining as always, but the giant stain of advertising really just ruins the feeling that the site isn't in bed with advertising money - which is the entire reason I go to The Escapist in general, and watch Yahtzee in particular.

Great review. Best one out of you in a while.

So Yahtzee, looks like Portal might be getting a sequel. Anything you would like to address about that, seeing as you just made those points about sequels and that you seem to think that the original portal transcended Christ?

rofl, who wouldn't love to play Half Life 2 as a gun turret? fun times!

anyone else having trouble with the video player? perpetual loading...

Definitely one of the best in a while.

I think that i'm going to have to disagree on this one because i still found the game to be alot of fun. Granted its core gameplay is pretty much cut and paste and I seriously think that 2K fucked up with the story (WHY the fuck is there more than one big sister like they had orginally planned) Also where the hell did Tennenbom go you see her for like the first 5 min of the game and then shes gone as if magically. I think that it could've been a great sequel and it had all the potential they just fucked it up.


i hope the next game he reviews is heavy rain. it has a really good story yet has clunky controls and guicktime events. he is going to fucking destory it!

yahtzee doesnt give a shit if it has good story he likes it no matter what remember silent hill 2?

oh god I've become a machine that supplies refreshing air to people!!

ur right. now i really hope he reviews its!


I fail to see what is wrong with sequels. Here is a little food for thought:
Game Y is a sequel to game X. Game Y appears to just be game X with some cool new stuff thrown in. Game X is awesome. Cool New Stuff is cool and new. Therefore: Game Y is awesome, cool, and new.

In this case, Game Y (Bioshock 2) adds 3 marginal upgrades to Game X (Bioshock) and strips it of all character that made Game X interesting. The story was garbage, the Big Sister encounters were entirely scripted and not random, none of the characters had any real character.

L4D2 is an example of a sequel that takes everything that made the first great and improves upon it. Bioshock 2 and Deus Ex 2 are examples of how to tank a franchise with a horrible sequel.

I was referring to sequels in general. If you take out the awesome parts, then of course a game would suck compared to the first. (See Half Life 2) However, if you leave the cool stuff intact then things will be fine. It is just that some people lack the ability to separate their opinion from Yhatzee's, which is a shame due to the low truthyness of his opinions.

I haven't played Bioshock 2 yet. I guess I can't say I'm surprised by Yahtzee's verdict. Still, I can't believe I hadn't heard from anyone else in any other review mention having to defend little sisters from splicers if you want the good ending. How lame.

Well...what else do Big Daddy's do besides babysit the Little sisters. I don't know about you but I hated that part of Bioshock 1

its just me but Babysitting missions suck,You could Be like Chuck Norris or MR T and still end up losing because THEY (who ever your protecting)FORGOT TO LOOK BOTH WAYS BEFORE CROSSING THE !#@#@$ing STREET.

On the bright side, at least they made those part pretty easy if you set up and save before you start. You also Have a lot of different locations to do it from.

But I think what really was one disappointment for me is THE BIG SISTER. One reason Yahtzee mentioned in the review, Why is the Big sister mad at me for not harvesting the Little sisters? And I guess the answer to this is that The Big sisters are all on Lambs *chuckle* payroll. My Second reason is that she is supposed to be intimidating , but she was TOTALLY PREDICTABLE both in battle and her arrival.

Its not the worst game out there,like Yahtzee I Too think Too Human takes that award,
but more like an idea that might of seemed like a good idea but....didn't work out to well.
Its still......OK I guess.

Demented Teddy:

Stop making the threads before you post the videos, please.

Also, this is a placeholder, will edit when seen.

EDIT: While I agree with you on some points (like the Big Sister thing.
Damn bitches bastards, and hacking), I have to disagree and say that this was better than the first.
Gameplay-wise, at least.
Not story wise. God no.

Also, why do you pronounce Splicer funny?

I loved fighting the big sisters but that's just me.
I played on normal mode and was still owning the bitches....why is there an achievment for killing one without dying?

Cuz if you play on HARD difficulty, they are a motherfucking pain.

One thing I'm quite shocked about is how he didn't comment on the "new" Rapture. Was it fun to revisit it in this game?

Scort missions that end in being ammoless against raging monsters seems unfair.

You know Yahtzee, if you're going to bash a game that much, make sure they're really that bad to warrant it.

Criticism and sarcasm is one thing, this was just spiteful.

I gotta say, after reading all the comments, I agree that Bioshock 2 is improvement of the first one, that they did offer you little to learn about, and even if the story fits without going against the canon, but it wasn't needed, like Episode I, II and III from Star Wars. But, to be honest, using bioshock and Rapture, there wasn't much else to do. They could try a brand new setting, but probably people would complain about not following the former title, which I would agree.
Maybe a new setting would be refreshing next time, I don't know... Twatshock in the Jetsons setting, but in any case, Twatshock 2 would be pretty much the same, and people will complain the same.
My point is, that complaining about Bioshock 2 being almost the same (which I partly agree, though I don't complain) is like complaining about the cup of coffee you're having now tastes like the one you had yesterday, and you had to pay for both the same.

Yeah the Little sister telapathy thing was odd and unexplain but as far as the "why is the prototype better than the finished" part... so the people would stay in control not the big daddies? I think that would be a fair guess... still Bioshock 2 was worth a rent over the weekend if your really want both extreme evil and good endings or all four if your a good speed player

Great review nice and funny

Well I liked it. The only problem is that my computer runs like poo

Amazing that folks get hung up on the why or how he ingests food and drink.

As for the review - I mean, critique, given Yahtzee is not a reviewer - it had little to say beyond B2 being a "cash in" (imagine that, a gaming company trying to turn profit) and that the story wasn't the equal of the first. Being a critic, he ignores the improved aspects of the game (with the exception of the hacking minigame), the fun and love that was put into the multiplayer, and zeroes in on it's shortcomings. It's what he does.


Unfortunate that the future sequel to the highly overrated Half-Life won't be subjected to this same skewed analysis, but he's a Valve fanboi, after all. Meh, we've all favorites.

This is just the kind of game where the fun you get out of it is only as much as you invest into it. Sure, you can just hypnotize splicers and let them do your dirty, but you can also shoot a rocket spear into their crotch and watch them flail their arms around as they set fire to their friends before ultimately exploding.

One thing I'm quite shocked about is how he didn't comment on the "new" Rapture. Was it fun to revisit it in this game?

The environments were terribly worn down over the years, so it makes sense in the canon, but most of them are incredibly dull nonetheless with the exception of Ryan Amusments.

"why is the prototype better than the finished"

Well, during the first stages, you're basically made of jelly; any splicer drains half of your health bar with a mere wrench, and, until you leveled your health and defence enough, you can't kill a big daddy without healing yourself. I don't see how that's better than the finished ones; I'll give you the plasmids though =P

It's pretty seldom that I feel that Yahtzee has gotten it completely wrong, but I have to say... I feel he's gotten this one completely wrong.
At least in terms of the gameplay. I enjoyed it quite a bit, having a valid reason to set up defenses and be strategic instead of just running around shooting everything that moves like in every other shooter in the world.

And while the plot wasn't the most original and it may have seemed kindof like a mutant plot growing out of the original plot haphazardly... the characters were still really interesting. I ended up really liking a few of them, including the main character and Elenor. Which really drove the story for me.

i don't even see what was so great about the first one..

Useless comment.

Eh, not sure how much I enjoyed this review. When push comes to shove I thought Bioshock 2 wasn't fantastic, but was still fun. I enjoyed learning more about Andrew Ryan and the city as a whole. It is pretty obvious that Lamb and Sinclair were merely added in to create more depth to the story but the parts were you actually reviewed what really happened in the first place actually helps you understand the overall story of the rise and fall of Rapture. In the first game all it really does is give you bits and pieces, a brief understanding that is an easily confusing timeline. Your almost forced to read a wiki if you want to fully understand what the exact timeline of all this was. Bioshock 2 helps show WHY Rapture fell, not just "we all spliced up, then shit went crazy" the first game gives as the answer. So even though Sinclair was added in, his part made sense, as did Lamb's. Not a "great" game, but a "good" one.

I have to say though, Yahtzee made a good point about the Big Sister attacks. Saving the sisters really doesn't click with being an asshole and killing them only to receive the same punishment.

Good review, was actually sort of surprised at the review. I haven't played the game myself, so I don't really know much about it, but I was kind of hoping it wouldn't suck.

In other news, I know the escapist likes to sell itself out with it's extravagantly BS ads, but they've really outdone themselves this time by forcing the viewer to open up a pop-up window covered with sticky corporate fluids just to see the video.

Wow, the BF:BC2 background is a bit much isn't it? Am I the only one seeing that?

Nope, and I agree, it's a bit much. I saw the little close button in the corner and clicked that, hoping to watch the video on the normal screen, but then the video stopped. :(

Anyway, I haven't played any Bioshock yet (I'll probably borrow #1 from my brother over the summer if I'm bored), but I'd be all over Bioshock 3 no questions asked if I could play as a vending machine.

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