Zero Punctuation: L.A. Noire

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L.A. Noire, it was a great idea, but it was handled so badly. The cars handled like Da Vinci's tank would have (the real one, not the AC: Brotherhood one) Wooden or chain link fences that wouldn't stop a bicycle in other games could smash the shit out of a heavy 40's car, and in the interrogations, it was impossible to know whether to go for doubt or lie. So often I'd review the evidence, find nothing that was conceivably related to the question, pick doubt, and be told I was wrong. Come to think of it, why were the music chimes for right and wrong so damned similar? It just became unbearable after the homicide cases, hell even those bored me about halfway though. I thought my local shop was driving a hard bargain offering 45 euros of store credit if I could bring the game back in a week, but after finishing it, I was glad to be rid of it.

that whole "the character goes down a tangent I don't want them to" reminds me of Mass Effect 2. Pretty much any game where you pick a vaguely-described angle and watch your guy talk about it for a little bit will have that problem where he's not saying exactly what you thought he would say. It's like when your player character acts stupid during a cutscene: such a jarring loss of control carrying your character in a direction you don't want him to go is just kind of an insult to the whole "game" thing where you're supposed to be in control.

I much prefer the straight up simple conversation system where you pick something for your character to say and they say it. Doesn't need to be more complex than that

I think I know the case he was on about with the two flimsy defendents. It's the golden butterfly, and it is fairly obvious who the game wants you to blame, but what annoyed me was that you couldn't ask the new def (who is a child molester to boot) what his shoe size was and the really vague questions you asked in the final interorgation. Just felt like the molester had been thrown in to create a new bad guy.

Eitherway, I'm loving the game so far, and although the critisms are fair, I still think Phelps is a much better PC then most.

I'm confused. He didn't complain too much about it but usually if he likes a game, he outright says so.

That's the first Captain Scarlet reference I've heard in a loooong time.

Just finished it a few hours ago.
Yahtzee you charismatic stallion you've done it again
Particularly loved the Captain Scarlet reference and totally agree on the interview problems. Either way though this game damn good and I think anyone who's been on the edge as to whether or not they should buy this game should give it a go!

This game just wasn't for me, it was far to depressing, and even though you have a huge map you can't go into any of the buildings outside of the main storyline anyway.

There are many times, watching these videos, that I like the joke but don't get how Yahtzee found some issue or decided something was bad. But the glasses comment on the early mission is exactly the same thing I thought.

Your character clearly states that the glasses had been repaired on home. The wife says they are new. I go "Gotcha! LIAR!" and the character starts accusing her of being at the crime scene! I'm sitting there going "Whoh whoh whoh! I'm just working the glasses angle man! Why are you calling her the murderer?!"

Yeah, its one of the examples of the sometimes GLARING logical issues the game has, and feels like points where the developers WERE going somewhere with the angle, but decided last minute to say "fuck it" and no go with it while leaving in that hint of said angle.

Really pissed me off, since I've actually had a rather flawless record with clues and questions with the cases I've done, besides that one... FUCKING question...
My friend also did the same exact thing too.

A fun rental but I'm glad I didn't buy it.
I found the interrogations to be really unintuitive too. I'm trying to needle for some more info and my character starts foaming at the mouth. I thought the system would be more laddered but it felt more like a cutscene with a random ending.
And yes, while the characters certainly look more detailed, they don't look any less creepy and inhuman.
I'm surprised Yhatzee didn't mention the hand-holding or the Newspapers. Are they for anything or have I just not gotten to that part yet?

I think I'll get it when it hits a reasonable price.

After I saw "Brink" last week I knew it'll be L.A. Noire this one... but you're going to do Witcher 2 next week... right... right? It's not going to be some special E3 episode again? Or you're going to do both, amirite?

He's probably going to wait a week or two after E3 to do a video about it. That's how he usually works, giving the game/event time to sink in before deciding to rip it to shreds with a semi-automatic machete.

haha, great review Yahtzee :)

For some reason I expected the end credit to be "Yahtzee is a loose cannon but a damn good cop".

[Take a shot]

Robot crime detective...... *Sigh* Well I'll get a garbage bag for all the torn off limbs. anyway, it's definitely something I wanna play...when I have time...which is now I suppose but when I find a way that's not buying or renting (for like 3 weeks) it cuz I'm spending wayy too much on games this summer x.X


I hate to be 'that guy', but Noire is the feminine form of the work, Noir being the masculine (he brought it up in the credit comments).

Sounds reasonable. But does it make sense in the game title? I thought it was supposed to be a reference to "film noir."

I think Los Angeles/L.A. is feminine, as are all cities in the French language, IIRC.

I do not know how much truth there is to this but I recall that the extra "e" was just a programming error they just went with...

Wow, there's a fun piece of trivia.

I think Los Angeles/L.A. is feminine, as are all cities in the French language, IIRC.

That would make sense, but it would also make the game's title translate as "Black L.A.," which seems a bit strange.

Is it just me, or does Yahtzee's depiction of Cole Phelps in this review look like Inspector Gadget?


I think Los Angeles/L.A. is feminine, as are all cities in the French language, IIRC.

I'm pretty sure Los Angeles is Spanish, not French.

The ending credit joke was hilarious.

Like most other people my major complaint about L.A Noire is the fact that what you're doing most of the time doesn't matter, the shooting is fun sure, but if you die you get a game over and reload to your last checkpoint, so why the hell don't you just reload too your last checkpoint if you fuck up an interrogation so bad there's no way the guy could ever reasonably be charged with the crime?

I cant help but feel that Yahtzee will never find a game he loves... besides Saints Row 2...

Wait... a flamethrower?


Someone enlighten me here, does that actually happen or was that just a joke?

Why was ZP so late today? It's a...
*puts on sunglasses*


I think your avatar really made the joke for me there.

I cant help but feel that Yahtzee will never find a game he loves... besides Saints Row 2...

And silent hill 2... and prince of persia... and batman arkham asylum.... and portal 1 & 2


Quite frankly, I think a car mounted on top of another car would be the greatest form of transportation ever concieved by man.


As much as I enjoy Top Gear, as soon as I heard car on top of another car I thought of something a little different.

Wait... a flamethrower?


Someone enlighten me here, does that actually happen or was that just a joke?

That actually happens.

It's even in the ESRB rating. "BEWARE! FLAMETHROWER VIOLENCE!"

Liked how you compared Cole Phelps with a robot,pretty funny and good review.

Looking forward to see Witcher 2 next week(hopefully).

Sorry, but Madness 10 was so much better :D

Amazingly, this nowhere near the most vicious review I've read today about this game. But as usual, it's the most hilarious one

After watching this I will consider getting it. It actually seemed like he liked it to some extent. Sadly it's not for PC...

Well worth the extra wait!
Coal, we hardly knew ye.

Ooh, I hear there's a Serious Sam 3 trailer out today.
Hope Yahtzee's cold obsidian hard get's a bit warmer because of it. ;-)


DragonLord Seth:
Now I need to watch a LP of it :/

From what I understand/have heard, Rockstar does not take to kindly to LPs because they think that if people watch the game, they are less likely to buy it. I could be wrong on that though.

OT: This did look like a fun game, so I think I may get it later. But that glasses thing? Funny as hell.

I'm watching GhostRobo's LP, and he talked to Rockstar. He even gave away some free copies, with RS' permission, of course.

As I recall, Sierra did an detective investigation game based on Bladerunner in the early/mid 1990's that basically ran into all of these issues as well, but was a cool game nonetheless. I am disappointed that the guys at Rockstar were unable to do better than a 20 year old game.

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