If you think violence, f-bombs, "Intoxicated Skillshots" and the Drilldo sound like fun, the ESRB says Bulletstorm might be just the game you're looking for.
The Entertainment Software Rating Board provides an invaluable service to gamers and the videogame industry alike by serving up the sort of back-of-the-box blurbs and sheer comedy gold that were virtually unheard of in the days prior to Mortal Kombat and Doom. Case in point: the rating summary for Bulletstorm, the upcoming shooter from Painkiller studio People Can Fly.
The description of the game as a shooter in which players become space pirates trying to escape a planet of mutant cannibals is amusing, if only for its unabashedly stereotypical ridiculousness, but it's not until after the ESRB explains some of the game's weapons and more colorful killing methods, like dismemberment with explosives, impalement on spikes and being "drilled into walls," whatever that means, that things really kick into high gear.
"Players can consume alcohol and kill enemies in order to receive an Intoxicated Skillshot; the screen turns blurry during these sequences," the summary reads. "The dialogue contains numerous jokes and comments that reference sexual acts, venereal diseases, and having sex with one's mother (e.g., 'Guess I know where the ol' gal got that limp.'). The names of some Skillshots are infused with sexual innuendo (e.g., Gag Reflex, Rear Entry, Drilldo, Mile High Club); one Skillshot (i.e., Fire in the Hole) allows players to shoot at enemies' exposed buttocks."
Sex with one's mother and "Fire in the Hole." Oh, and plenty of f-bombs, c-sharps and other colorful language, too; this is, after all, the game that gave us "dicktits." I am so preordering this thing.
Bulletstorm comes out on February 22 for the PC, PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360.