The newest anti-smut technology not only watches what's on your screen, but listens for the smacking, moaning, and smooth jazz synth sounds of pornography.
It's good to see science has its priorities straight. Yeah, teleporters and clinical immortality would be cool, but what's really important is keeping the lonely and sexually frustrated masses from checking out "Hot Co-Eds in Hot Tub Part 1" at work. To that end, researchers at Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology in South Korea have developed software that can distinguish the not-so-subtle sounds of porn from everyday sounds, and block the offending content.
The program works by taking clips half a second in length and analyzing them with a technique called the Radon Transform. While speech generally consists of low pitches and music goes all over the place, porn consists of generally high pitches that fluctuate quickly and in repeating patterns. To build up a statistically significant pile of data representing the sort of sound patterns porn has, the researchers had to "analyze" truly epic amounts of online porn. Y'know, for "research."
But all that mastur... er, "compiling of data" has paid off, and the software can now determine what is porn and what isn't to an accuracy of 93 percent. The ones it got wrong often had loud background music or other confusing sounds, proving that even emotionless machines are confused by smooth jazz.