President Barack Obama was not assassinated this morning, despite what Fox News' compromised Twitter account may have led you to believe.
Early this morning, a hacking group dubbed "Scriptkiddies" managed to wrest control of the Fox News Twitter account from Rupert Murdoch's icy Australian claws. Normally that would be hilarious comeuppance toward that stereotypically technophobic branch of the Fox media empire, but what they did with the account is just a touch morbid.
"@BarackObama has just passed. Nearly 45 minutes ago, he was shot twice in the lower pelvic area and in the neck; shooter unknown. Bled out," one tweet read.
Over the course of two hours, the group posted six messages with the same essential message: President Barack Obama has been assassinated.
The good news, for anyone who values human life and a relatively stable sociopolitical environment, is that Barack Obama is alive and well, likely making plans to celebrate the birth of our gorgeous country by blowing up a small part of it.
He has not been shot.
As geek.com points out, this marks the third time in the last six months that Fox News has been taken by hackers. Previously, hackers have publicized the personal details of numerous contestants on Fox's X-Factor talent-show-cum-reality-TV-cash-cow, and swiped employee log-in info for the corporation's computer network.
At the moment, Fox News seems to have regained control of the rogue Twitter account, and the faux tweets have been deleted. If you can ignore the dog wagging undertones of the whole thing, the company has also officially commented on the attack:
FoxNews.com alerted the U.S. Secret Service, which is declining public comment. Jeff Misenti, vice president and general manager of Fox News Digital, said FoxNews.com was working with Twitter to address the situation as quickly as possible.
"We will be requesting a detailed investigation from Twitter about how this occurred, and measures to prevent future unauthorized access into FoxNews.com accounts," Misenti said.
FoxNews.com regrets any distress the false tweets may have created.
If there is one lesson to be taken from this, it's that sourcing your information from Twitter can be hazardous to any valid conception of reality you might have.
I'm going to be counting off the seconds until one of you says the same about Fox News.