Theatrhythm Final Fantasy isn't just a pronunciation enigma, it's also Square Enix's upcoming Final Fantasy-based rhythm title.
Don't bother trying to figure out the logic here. You'll only hurt yourself. Just accept that there is a market for this thing, and we'll move on to specifics.
Theatrhythm Final Fantasy, as seen in this week's issue of Jump, is a theater rhythm action game. Players will explore dungeons, towns, and battle enemies in traditional Final Fantasy style... but everything in Theatrhythm Final Fantasy plays like a music game. You use the stylus to tap and hold notes while fighting behemoth, for example.
Expect popular songs and characters from the entire Final Fantasy series to appear in Theatrhythm Final Fantasy. A screenshot shows Kingdom Hearts avatar versions of Cloud, the Warrior of Light, Lightning, and Onion Knight. Kind of looks like a musical version of Dissidia: Final Fantasy, doesn't it?
The game is scheduled for release on the Nintendo 3DS at a date likely to be determined after the shocked cries of "seriously? no, seriously?!" have died down to a low roar. A North American iteration of the game has not yet been confirmed, though as Siliconera points out, Square Enix has applied for a US trademark on the game's baffling portmanteau.
Despite my above cynicism, I should grudgingly admit that Square Enix probably knows what it's doing.
Who thought a Final Fantasy/Disney mashup would ever work? Did anyone actually ask for a Final Fantasy fighting game?
Square Enix may milk its cash cow franchises like an obsessive compulsive Amish farmer, but for the most part, the milk that results is surprisingly delicious.