The new Rambo: The Video Game "Machine of War" trailer is nothing short of spectacular.
War machines are a dime a dozen. But a Machine of War? There can be only one: Rambo! A man who's killed dozens! And by "dozens," we mean thousands! Because once they switched the machine on, they didn't know how to turn it off! Because you don't just turn it off! It wasn't his war. They asked him, he didn't ask them! And he did what he had to do to win - but somebody wouldn't let him win! Back there he could fly a gunship, he could drive a tank, he was in charge of million-dollar equipment - but now he's stuck in this terrible videogame!
Okay, maybe that's not fair. There's no way to declare Rambo The Video Game "terrible" at this point because it's not even released yet, but this trailer does come awfully close to parody, like the sort of thing that might appear on a television set in the background of GTA or Max Payne. That doesn't necessarily mean a bad game - Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon and Bulletstorm are two titles that did well for themselves by going way over the top - but I get the feeling that Rambo isn't aiming for that kind of vibe.
Either way, I'm loving these trailers. Pre-last-gen production values, ridiculous violence, and did you see how he used a grenade launcher on a couple of guys who were like four feet away? That takes stones, man - Rambo stones! It is pretty cool how they got a narrator who sounds like Richard Crenna, though - or am I just imagining that?
There's still no release date, but here's more exciting news: If you preorder now, you'll also get a hand-painted, "truely collectable" limited edition Rambo figurine! The offer seems to be good only in Europe, but interested North Americans can import from the U.K. - and who wouldn't be interested in having one of these on their shelf, right next to the Duke Nukem Forever bust? That's "collectable," baby.