This movie will break you...into fits of laughter!
Twenty six years ago, Universal Pictures released a movie so daring in its ambition, so uncompromising in its integrity, that it blazed a trail between two diametrically opposed film genres for years to come. It was a movie about family, justice, and the secret identities we all choose to hide from those around us. It was a movie willing to ask the tough questions, like "Who is your daddy?" and "What does he do?" It was a movie that grossed nearly 100 million dollars domestic.
That movie was Kindergarten Cop.
Starring former bodybuilder and future governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kindergarten Cop not only launched the "Badass Babysitter" subgenre of comedy, but has yet to be topped by *any* movie created within that subgenre since -- not by the similarly-flawless Vin Diesel vehicle, The Pacifier, and not even by Hulk Hogan's Mr. Nanny. The fact that Kindergarten Cop wasn't immediately greenlit for half a dozen sequels upon its release is a tragedy on par with Hurricane Katrina, and thankfully, a wrong that will finally be righted by Universal in 2016.
Above you will find the first trailer for Kindergarten Cop 2, starring Dolph Lundgren as a no-nonsense cop forced to go undercover at an elementary school in order to retrieve some stolen data. What that data is, exactly, will just be one of many mysteries uncovered when Kindergarten Cop 2 hits DVD stands everywhere on May 17th. Mysteries like:
-Why is that kid pissing in a trash can?
-Is that his idea of anarchy? Just pissing everywhere?
-Will someone eventually fall head first in that bucket?
-What the hell were they cooking in that microwave?
-Why isn't Dolph Lundgren using his singing, dancing, drumming, and karate-chopping skills to win over these rambunctious children?
-*Was* it a tumor, though?
-Does Dolph Lundgren have a tumor?
-Why else would he have done that black lady finger snap thing at the end there?
-To be "hip"?
-Do *any* kids even do that anymore, let alone the "hip" ones?
-Why won't Amazon Prime let me pre-order 150 copies of this movie at a time?
In conclusion, Kindergarten Cop 2 is my Force Awakens and cannot get here soon enough.