From Bowser to Dracula to Drs. Wily and Robotnik, the lament of the videogame boss is always the same: It's so hard to get good help these days.
When you think about it, it must be really embarrassing to be a boss character in a videogame. You spend all this time and effort on hiring minions, on placing traps, and on making your Doom Fortress virtually impenetrable.
And then some douchebag goes and makes all of your hard work totally worthless, and your incompetent minions really don't make it any better. As this video from the minds at CollegeHumor shows, the "motivational" speeches that various bosses - from Castlevania, Donkey Kong Country, and more - give their minions can all kind of ... blend together.
It's rather horrifying to imagine a world without hidden powerups, though. Where will we get our spread-fire then?!