I am Hiawatha, chief of the Iroquois peoples.

In the beginning, I built the great city of Onondaga and my people’s culture spread over the land. I chose a location that was close to the sea and to forests that were rich with silkworms. Setting my wise men on learning the secrets of harvesting the threads by building plantations was a simple task. Workers trained in building such improvements came next, but though the Iroquois soon learned the secrets of the calendar, our knowledge did not allow us to make the tools needed to cut down sufficient trees to make room for our plantations. My workers were idle for years.

Once we mastered mining metals from the earth, we could build the saws and axes needed to clear the forests. Trapping allowed us to build the camps needed to hunt the local elephants and extract their coveted tusks. Along with the silk, these precious commodities pleased my people and the Iroquois were ready to further explore.

Armed with axe and club, the first Iroquois warriors ventured forth over the plains. Following them were my scouts and together, they cleverly waylaid the unsuspecting barbarians. With the scouts on the opposite side of the barbarians, my warriors were able to defeat the brutes easily. Some of the barbarians had the audacity to camp near my second city of Osininka. Iroquois warriors dispersed them and looted their camp.

Crossing the mountain range to the north, I met the first civilized leader, poor Augustus Caesar. No amount of flattery or attempts at trade would crack his smile. Surrounded by finery such as he is, Augustus couldn’t open his heart and mind to the Iroquois way of life. Perhaps that is why he attacked me with his legions, unprovoked and without warning. Caesar’s armies took my great city of Grand River. Little did Caesar know that the Iroquois nation is blessed and that the first our many Golden Ages dawned soon after his treachery. It was the turn of the tide.

Ceasar sent his armies to Osininka, but the brave defenders bombarded the approaching hordes and my horsemen were able to send out sorties to attack and then fall back behind the city walls. His vanguard beaten back, cowardly Caesar offered a peace treaty, but I refused. Backed by the confidence that my Golden Age lent, I liberated Grand River and then turn the attention of my armies to Rome. Vengeance would be sweet.

My armies swelled the forests and hills approaching the Roman capital, but before I could sack that mighty city, Augustus offered me a final offer of peace and placated me with territory and riches. How could I refuse? I am fierce, but not cruel. I took Caesar’s offer of the twin cities of Antium and Cumae and signed a peace with Rome that would last millennia. I built houses of law to teach my new Roman subjects freedom, and allow them to become productive citizens of the Iroquois nation.

My warriors were instrumental in fighting the Romans, and for that I rewarded them by weaving pork fat into their hair and sharpening their blades. Behold the Mohawk warriors of the Iroquois, more fearsome than the swordsmen of other nations! When in jungle or forest, my Mohawks are deadly fighters.

With my borders relatively secure, I built many wondrous monuments in Onondaga and Osininka. The great Pyramids soon adorned my capital and their wonder inspired my workers to more quickly build roads and farms.

Because of my superior culture, I instituted many new ideas and progressive policies. Honor empowered my warriors to better defeat my uncivilized barbarians, and would later allow me to train a great General to lead my armies. Tradition allowed my cities to build wonders more quickly while the great Iroquois spirit of patronage made my gifts to smaller nations appear greater.

I first met the leaders of Hanoi and Seoul, two feeble warring city-states who each asked me to destroy the other. Seoul’s people were the most like Iroquois, though, so I showered that city with gold so that they might share their culture with us. Other states such as Oslo and Rio de Janeiro were seafaring nations, able to gift us with foodstuffs to fill my people’s granaries.

Beyond Rio were the larger empires of France and the Ottoman Turks. Napoleon sat astride his horse elegantly while Suleiman of the Ottomans wore his turban well. I told them of the wonders of Iroquois civilization, but all they seem to be interested in is signing petty Pacts of Secrecy against each other. Pah, they would learn of the glory of the Iroquois soon enough.

Still, the Iroquois were enriched by meeting these empires. Suleiman of the Ottomans gave us silver in exchange for excess dyes and both of our peoples were happy for the arrangement. Unfortunately, Suleiman’s greed was his undoing. He sent his Janissaries to storm the city-state. I did not want Rio to be absorbed into the Ottoman empire, for they were my allies, I could not directly attack his forces without forfeiting our trade agreements.

I tried to array my longswordsmen and archers on the battlefield to block the Ottoman advance, but as hot fire launched from their trebuchets rained down on the walls of Rio, Iroquois could stand by no longer. I broke my agreements with Suleiman and destroyed his attacking armies easily by attacking from higher ground and flanking his janissaries.

I expected the Turk to stop his aggression, but over the next few centuries, Suleiman continued to attack Rio de Janeiro. My scientists had discovered how to use gunpowder and I was able to pay for these guns while my armies were in the allied lands of Rio. As soon as my armies were refit, I ordered their advance on Istanbul under the banner of the great General Patton.

Instead of conquering the Ottoman cities or razing them to the ground, I created mere puppets. By keeping semblance of control in the natives’ hands, all of their resources and trade were sent directly to Onondaga and the residents were kept relatively happy.

As I learned the secret of Optics and navigation by using the stars through and sent the first ship able to traverse the deep ocean, the caravel, to search for new lands, I discovered that such warmongering was the norm rather than the exception. Oda Nobunaga of Japan traded with me, hungry for my foreign silks and gold, but he immediately asked me to attack his neighbor, Ramkhamhaeng of Siam. Alexander of Greece was willing to enter into a research agreement with me, setting aside gold to learn a random technology together, but he was preying upon the smaller city of Genoa at the same time.

Faced with such dishonorable practices, I realized that something must be done. I adopted polices of Freedom and Commerce to further enhance the economy of the Iroquois. I built bastions of culture like Notre Dame and the Louvre and my people were happier for it. I discovered machinery, steam power and eventually the secret of flight.

But through it all, I had one goal: to unite all peoples under one banner. I built the United Nations in the former Roman city of Antium. I firmly believed that if I could convince the peoples of the world that Hiawatha of the Iroquois was worthy of their trust, then maybe I could bring peace to the world. It took ten years to convene the delegates from all of the civilizations and city-states of the world.

But once they came to Antium, once they saw the glory, as well as the mercy, of the Iroquois nation, their voices called out one name: Hiawatha, Hiawatha. Savior of the human race. Leader of the World.

Greg Tito has played more hours of Civ than any other game franchise. Easily.

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