In a seemingly flawless heist, a man has stolen 80,000 pounds of walnuts over two separate incidents.
Two truckloads of walnuts totaling 80,000 pounds have been reported stolen in Tehama County, California. When a huge load of nuts was reported as never arriving in Miami, deputies with the Tehama County Sheriff’s Office connected the crime to the theft, only a few days earlier, of 40,000 pounds of walnuts bound for Texas. Granted, this didn’t take a huge amount of deductive reasoning, as there’s likely only one person on the whole planet who would steal 40,000 pounds of walnuts in the first place. The Sheriff’s suspect list is only a single man, a delivery driver who managed to pick up the two shipments of walnuts under false pretenses.
For all the seeming insanity of the crime, the 80,000 pounds of protein-packed, nutty goodness is worth nearly $300,000. The impostor driver is apparently well connected and had planned the heist, because he was equipped with the correct purchase numbers to pick up the shipment. After checking with the Texas-based recipient of the walnuts, deputies discovered that the man who picked them up wasn’t the man hired for the job. The nut-thieving conman is described as a 6′ 2″ Caucasian male with a “very distinctive Russian accent” driving a white semi. Presumably, the man also has a love of walnut filled brownies, or perhaps cakes, and a strong talent for social engineering.
This is the second high profile food theft in October, the first being the now solved great maple syrup heist. Given the proximity of the two thefts I can only suspect that the world has a new ring of food thieves, concocting some sticky-salty-sweet schemes of global catastrophe.