Serious Sam 3 To Fund Breast Enhancement Surgery

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Saying a game will sell well enough to get your wife the “tit job” she’s been after is a cheap way to get attention, but it works.

The Serious Sam series has been trying to out-crass the likes of Duke Nukem ever since it debuted in 2002. Now that the Duke is returning, and games like Bulletstorm appear to be selling well, the Croatian developer Croteam decided to cash in on the crassfest that’s the game industry in 2011. The next iteration will be Serious Sam 3: BFE and will feature Sam “Serious” Stone in an origin story of what happened before the events of the first game. There will be hordes of beasts and mercenaries attacking Earth to shoot with up to 16 of your friends in a massive co-op campaign. Croteam also released the first official screenshots for the game this weekend which shows off “Scrapjacks” and “Khnum” in the bombed-out buildings of Egypt in the 2100s. Serious Sam 3: BFE is due out this summer on PC and “consoles” although Xbox 360 and PS3 version aren’t yet confirmed.

Serious Sam 3 is about pure fun and unfiltered action,” said Davor Hunski, the chief creative officer at Croteam. “We wanted to expand on everything gamers love about the series while adding some genuinely unique new features to really enhance the mayhem Serious Sam is known for.”

Then the financial guy took over the press release with Fork Parker saying, “Holy crap, I am going to make a boatload of cash off this game. I mean that’s what this is all about, right? If this thing comes out in the summer my wife is totally getting the tit job she’s been asking for.”

Care to elaborate on that, Mr. Parker? After all, you are the chief financial officer of major European game studio. Surely there must be something of substance you can add to the press release?

“Bam. Tit job,” he replied.

Yeah, I’m not sure I like how videogames are being represented nowadays. I did snicker when I read Parker’s joke – dear god I hope it’s a joke – but I hope that this trend gets the backlash it deserves pretty soon. There is something just off about catering to each Fox News sycophant’s worst fears about gaming that rubs me the wrong way. Aren’t we, as an industry, trying to achieve something better than dicktits?

Maybe I’m just getting old.

Source: CVG

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