Stolen Pixels

Stolen Pixels #16: Azeroth Travelogue, Part 3




Day 75

In all my travels, perhaps the strangest thing I’ve discovered is that, despite their homeland being ravaged by the undead scourge, the Blood Elves are among the most numerous races in all the land. I also note that the wreckage of their cities looks better than anything the humans have ever managed to build.

I would describe the Blood Elves as proud, brooding, and dangerously oversexed. (But not, I assure you, to their faces.)

Day 90

Night Elves, despite their talk about being in harmony with nature, are just as bloodthirsty as any other race I’ve met on my journey. The one thing that sets them apart, however, is their keen interest in water, which borders on the obsessive.

While staying in Auberdine, I brought a sample of water to one of their elders. He seemed very grateful for the gesture, and stayed up through the night examining it and trying to divine secrets from it. Unable to contain my curiosity, the next morning I approached him and asked what he’d learned.

“That water”, he said, looking gravely off into the distance, “A Moonkin has peed in it.”

Wanting to be as far from nature as possible, I departed the next day for Iron Forge.

Day 98

My journey ended in the vast underground dungeon of Iron Forge, which the locals call a “city”. To those who hope to relax in this place, I offer the following advice:

One should make every effort to avoid offending men who are aggressive, inebriated, and who stand at eye level to one’s codpiece.

Shamus Young is a programmer and writer by trade, videogame nitpicker by inclination. If you have the patience for more of his ramblings, they can be found at

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