The Best and Worst Wii Accessory Ever

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Pega has unleashed upon the world what may very well be the most awesomely ill-conceived gaming accessory of all time: A Dart Game Kit that converts your Wii Remote into a giant dart.

For just ten bucks plus a little bit for shipping, the Wii Dart Game Kit will convert any Wii Remote into an oversized dart, suitable for absolutely no dart-related purposes whatsoever. The dart-configured controller is compatible with PDC World Championship Darts 2008, although I would guess that compatibility is not in the least bit dependent upon the addition of fins and a tip to a standard Wiimote.

The manual emphasizes, in charmingly amusing Engrish, the kit’s many safety features. The Wii Dart Game Kit is made from “EVA + ABS material,” which, along with the included wrist strap, “can avoid to make the hurt for the people and crispness goods when operate failed which is very safety, and have a good sense of reality.” The instructions also include several similarly-mangled warnings about the proper operation and maintenance of the conversion kit, not one of which mentions the fact that despite your controllers’s new, aerodynamic appearance, you shouldn’t actually throw the damned thing.

That, of course, is the point at which the horror and the awesomeness collide. It should go without saying that just because your Wii controller looks vaguely like a dart it hasn’t actually become one, yet we all know that somewhere out there is a bonehead who’s going to buy this thing, snap his Wiimote into it and fire it at his television.

Maybe his fingers will be sweaty, or maybe he’ll be drunk; whatever excuse he gives his friends when the story inevitably gets out, the bottom line is, his Wii controller will be smashed. Maybe his television will be smashed. Maybe whatever the controller hits after it bounces off the television will be smashed. Maybe whatever the cat knocks over when it tries to get away from all this flying, smashing crapola will be smashed.

The important thing is, stuff will be smashed.

This controller kit is such an awful idea on every possible level that it somehow manages to transcend badness and become something else entirely. Not “good,” exactly; more like a retail version of the sort of misfortune that’s funny when it happens to someone else. Shrink-wrapped schadenfreude, maybe? I never thought the Wii dumbbells would be surpassed as “Most Accidentally Destructive Videogame Accessory Ever,” but I really think we might have a new champ on our hands.


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