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The Lord of the Rings: Gollum – Zero Punctuation


This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews The Lord of the Rings: Gollum. Also, our exclusive, limited-edition Adventure Is Nigh! dice are on sale now at Dice Envy! Buy them while you can!

For more major games Yahtz has reviewed lately, check out The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, Darkest Dungeon II, Redfall, Shadows of Doubt, Star Wars Jedi: Survivor, Dead Island 2, and Resident Evil 4 (2023).

And check out Yahtzee’s other series, Extra Punctuation, where he’s recently talked about the science of video game healing and pursuit of realistic graphics killing AAA games.

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Zero Punctuation Transcript

So you’ve probably already heard that a game came out that’s, like, the video game equivalent of the Yersinia Pestis bacterium. And it’s the worst thing ever conceived by the hands of man and will usher in the brown apocalypse that will bury our civilization ‘neath a faecal blizzard. But enough about Redfall. I mean, but enough about Atomic Heart. I mean, but enough about Forspoken. Blimey, my calendar’s filling up. Four shit apocalypses? Gonna have to dry clean the scythe. In all seriousness, you people should be ashamed of yourselves. Have you worked up so much frustration having to plaster on a smile for all the cookie cutter triple-A garbage that when a not quite so big developer without the clout to whip the media into line comes along and has a little stumble while trying to realise their big dream of sitting at the cool kids table, your first instinct is to kick them to death? It’s fun to dogpile, isn’t it, and it’s the only way to get proxy revenge on your school bully who saw your Toy Story underpants and asked you every sodding week ’til the end of term if you’ve gotten a Woody today. One review said Gollum crashed on them a hundred times. Well, for the record, I finished it without a single crash or game breaking bug. So I can offer a fully untainted and hyperbole-free review of this extraordinarily shit game.

About the author

Yahtzee Croshaw
Yahtzee is the Escapist’s longest standing talent, having been writing and producing its award winning flagship series, Zero Punctuation, since 2007. Before that he had a smattering of writing credits on various sites and print magazines, and has almost two decades of experience in game journalism as well as a lifelong interest in video games as an artistic medium, especially narrative-focused. He also has a foot in solo game development - he was a big figure in the indie adventure game scene in the early 2000s - and writes novels. He has six novels published at time of writing with a seventh on the way, all in the genres of comedic sci-fi and urban fantasy. He was born in the UK, emigrated to Australia in 2003, and emigrated again to California in 2016, where he lives with his wife and daughters. His hobbies include walking the dog and emigrating to places.