Sustained now for centuries by the Druids of the Executive Branch through sorcerous presidential technologies, he has amassed a wealth of knowledge in a variety of disciplines. His side burns resonate on frequencies heretofore unknown to science. If you call out his name he will hear it and there’s a 10% chance he will answer. No one ever does because he really goes on and on.

Microsoft Says You’ve Killed 3 Billion Zombies So Far, Go Kill More

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