This week on Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Scarlet Nexus.
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I relish a chance to go into a game knowing nothing about it. It’s like how I prefer to be paddled by someone wearing a mask so we don’t have to make awkward conversation about it later while waiting for the bus. I didn’t know anything about Scarlet Nexus but the title, which told me jack shit, although it does sound like a bad erotic fiction author’s euphemism for lady bits. “Her scarlet nexus quivered in anticipation as he unveiled his magenta ambassador.” There was also the one image on the Steam page which seemed to depict some Jawas from Star Wars with orange tubes coming off them like they’d rigged up a Lucozade delivery system. Which was intriguing enough, so I immediately started it up in preparation for something wholesome and sports drink related, only for everyone to pull their hoods down and go “Psych! It’s an anime game!” D’oh, you got me again, anime. “We sure did, fuckface! Now choose your protagonist. Do you want to be tedious generic anime schoolgirl who thinks the best way to convey seriousness of character is to have the emotional range of a bathroom sink or tedious generic anime schoolboy who remains inexplicably oblivious to every female character in the game openly vying to knob him?”