No, seriously: There’s a movie coming out called Strippers Vs. Werewolves. How can it be anything but brilliant?
Werewolves are currently undergoing a surge in film popularity, thanks in large part to Taylor Lautner taking off his shirt all the time in those dreadful Twilight movies. As a result, Hollywood has gone into a werewolf frenzy, unleashing those Teen Wolf and Howling reboots. Neither of those can hold a candle to Strippers vs. Werewolves, though, an upcoming straight-to-DVD film that’s just had its (fairly SFW) sales trailer released on the Web.
The trailer’s a little nonsensical, since all it really shows is a bunch of random sequences of strippers dancing, strippers fighting werewolves, and people (presumably strippers) getting eaten. Thankfully, the film’s distributor sent out a synopsis to entice distributors to stock the movie:
“JEANETTE, the club’s careworn owner, believes murdering customers is bad for business, so she orders the club’s bouncer to quietly dispose of the body. And there the matter should end … if Mickey hadn’t been a member of a bloodthirsty and vengeful pack of werewolves.
When Mickey’s corpse surfaces, JACK FERRIS, the werewolves’ charming and vicious leader, swears bloody vengeance and sends his pack out to hunt down the killers. Little does he know, Justice is actually the fiancée of his second in command, SCOTT. To make matters worse, Justice bites Scott during sex and now may be infected with the curse of lycanthropy herself.
Add to the mix werewolf BARKER, the masturbating man-child; SINCLAIR, the occultist with low self-esteem; and a bevy of the most beautiful women this side of heaven and you have the perfect recipe for balls to the wall, frenetic, skimpily clad, strippers on werewolves action-packed goodness.
STRIPPERS vs. WEREWOLVES – stripping has never been this hairy.”
Based on this plot summary and the trailer, Strippers vs. Werewolves sounds and looks like it’ll be terrible for several reasons, the least-damning being how terrible the werewolf makeup is. Also, did anybody else notice that the title design was clearly ripped off from Sucker Punch?
I’m willing to bet that this is one of those cases where the trailer is actually a lot more fun than the movie itself. The use of “Hungry Like The Wolf” as the trailer’s soundtrack is adorably campy, it shows Robert Englund (the original Freddy Krueger) gleefully hamming things up, and – for some reason – it’s got a group of strippers dressing like Little Red Riding Hood (presumably they’re decked out for the final showdown with the werewolves? Maybe?).
Will I be buying this movie? Not a chance. But will I gladly share this trailer with my friends, all Halloween long? Hell yes.