The debut trailer for next year’s Battleship film is out, and I’m lollin’.

You knew that some Hollywood genius somewhere had decided that Battleship would make a fantastic feature film, right? Yes, that Battleship – the board game where players take turns “shooting” at little plastic boats hidden on little plastic grids. In case you’re wondering how that’s going to look on the big screen, let me give you the low-down.

Rock Strongjaw is a renegade Navy man who pisses off Admiral Fallout by putting the schmooze on his daughter. Then he goes off to sea with his brother and rival, Broody McBlueeyes, where they meet giant robot aliens. Cue explosions, roll credits and insipid Rihanna song. The end, baby!

Yeah, I’m lollin’.

Battleship, no word of a lie, comes out in May next year. Don’t miss it!

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