If you woke up in bed with the person in the above image...

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Those belts must have made last night annoying.

NO!

Nice teeth.

I don't have any items you need, nor does my death mean you get health back.

Neuromancer:
I don't have any items you need, nor does my death mean you get health back.

I don't think that's what man from ancient Greece wanted in your bed.

OT: Oy mate, I know I'm amazing but please be more discrete, there are people watching...

Damn it Jack, you're a smooth talker.

Ick.

Shhhhhh, you don't need to say a word.

Sonic isn't here. Go away.

Well I have no idea what I did but it must have been bad if you're going to attack me with that broom.

Oh, Mr Walken! Take me again.

At least you've got PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWAH!

What's with the beard?

Well that explains why every bone in my body has broken.

*Edited, because apparently I smothered the thread with the presence of Carl.

He-Man go home, you're drunk.

O_O This is going to hurt isn't it?

Where did the lighter fluid come from?

Mother, please leave.

I...uhhh...oh dear...umm, I have a dentist appointment? *sprints away*

A gym teacher and what looks like a drill instructor.

We all must had one real kinky night.

I can't tell if you have no pupils and irises, or you're looking REALLY far to the left.

Get you feet the fuck out of my face and get the hell out.

I'd say that you're trying to overcompensate for something, but...

I'd be more than alright with this.

Well that would probably be the most terrifying thing to happen. Argh! That's horrible! Maybe even the worst I've woken up next to

Those arms...
*stare*

*Rings police*
Hello I'd like to be arrested please.

Terribly sorry old chap, but you seem to have the wrong house. GOOD DAY. *slams door, flees*

I have a feeling that's just one part of whatever I've slept with.

Better than the creeper is an understatement.

Last night was amazing. Come by any time.

Oh, hey ba-- OH MY GOD IT'S SKELETOR!

My image will serve as my reaction to the one above:

Obama, I thought I already told you to go away. Now get!

Damnit tiny hill with cloud, I've already told you that you're just too dull to sleep with. I mean would kill you to at least have a sunset or some shit? (Your image is broken btw)

No thank you. I don't need to be insulted and weirded out at the same time today.

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