Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

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*mmm nom nom* "I dunno."

"...Sis, is he eating all the fucking sherbet?"

"Nah, RaN -*nom nom nom*- would never do that."

*mmf nom nom* "No."

A tiny robot butler pulls on your pantleg and hands you your one scoop of sherbet.

I calmly seat myself across RaN, staring intently at him.

"So-*nom nom*-how's your sex laife, RaN?"

I take the scoop and begin eating.

"This is a fairly pleasant change of pace."

"Oh." *mmf* "About as nonexistent as this ice cream."

I hold up my empty pint.

"That was more predictable than uh...fuck, what's a good insult..."

"A blind guy in a SoHo club?"

"...Way to be insensitive to your fellow colleagues."

"I don't know what RaN said, but I agree with him on principle."

"Send the warlocks. I'll stand up when they get here."

I pour water all over everyone and their sherbert.

I pour gasoline all over everyone and their sherbet.

I taste the new gasoline sherbet and immediately eat fire, spontaneously combusting in Zombie's face. I respawn in the same place.

I accidentally the Mall.
Everyone dies.

_______________________________
>Access saved files
...
>Load latest save

I glance around, grab some sherbert and sit down.
"*nom*nom*nom*nom*"

I'm about to pour gasoline on every, but I decide not to.
"What was I gonna do?"

"Your... uh... darn, I had an overused joke, but I forgot it. Oh well, better luck next time for me."

"*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom
*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*no
m*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*
nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*no
m*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*no
m*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*nom*"

"People can't even eat fucking ice cream in this godforsaken mall without shit being fucked up."

I slap Sigma's sherbet off his hands. Assuming he's using his hands. I hope.

"You sure there aren't any other ice cream shops? That they can't get into?"

My head does a 180 degree turn to look at Salt.
"But Why Would You Not Want Us To Be There Salt"

"Salt, the mall is infinitely big. Just walk for a few weeks and you'll never have to deal with us ever again."

"It's not that I don't want to deal with any of you ever again. Just you, Trilby."

"I wouldn't suggest that, Trilby. God knows what's outside of our normal hangout space, you know?"

"I love you too, Salt."
I turn to Tox.
"I assume that it's mostly made up of weird and vaguely creepy stores selling strange items we just do not want at all, and stores which, on their original planets, have been closed down, and yet the nature of the mall forces them to remain open... forever..."

"Or, you know, horrendous creatures from parallel universes and dimensions that arrived here by accident or choice after having conquered/destroyed their home planets, wanting to continue their quest for total domination or destruction of the entire omniverse!"

"Yeah, but that's not scary. Just dangerous. And, y'know, we're basically immortal. So danger means precisely jack shit here."

"I never said it was scary. However, it is scarily dangerous, because even if we can never truly die, it doesn't mean they couldn't torture us for the rest of time."

"Right... so, what's your point? If there are any things out there like that, wouldn't they eventually find us by sheer chance? So, that means their possible existence isn't a reason not to leave the area we normally stay in."

Paddy the Second:
"Send the warlocks. I'll stand up when they get here."

You hear chatter from outside.

"I always wanted a spot by the river."

"Really? Are we really having this conversation now?"

"Why not? It's quaint. Has a nice, rustic charm to it."

"Because we're warlocks you bleating idiot! We live humbly among the forest, not in houses! We signed a pact!"

"... What the pact doesn't know won't hurt it."

"Shut up. We're here."

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