Zero Punctuation: Minecraft

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So Yahtzee, there's this stuff in Minecraft called CHARCOAL, made by burning wood (wood can be used as fuel too!), which means you don't need to frantically search for coal in the ground to avoid being exploded on Night 1.

It took me two weeks to discover this fact, so I share it with you freely.

To be fair I don't think charcoal is more than two weeks old. It was added in a pretty recent update. It does make the first night a whole lot easier though.

Yeah, and notch would inevitably have had to implement charcoal if he hadn't already planned on it anyway. Either that or start the player off with a torch (or lantern when they get implemented). The "new feature" option's way better than the "starting equipment" route.


Now, I have to work out whether Clapham Junction is a viable move after Bond Street. Are we using the 1918 version, or the 1819 ruleset?

Well, it is the Last Wednesday in January, right? There's your answer right there. Unless you can make a case that the Troubadour Bypass should be in effect, the 1819 ruleset must be enforced.

Dammit. Ok then, Trafalgar Square.

Looks intriguing, but I can't get any info on the hardware requirements..

If your computer can run Deus Ex, it'll run Minecraft.

I love that this review just came out today when just last night I was convinced that I NEED to try this game. What epic timing.

Aaaaaand double post.

wow, it seems like Yahtzee quite liked minecraft
this truly is an awesome game
also, I liked the way the creepers in this strongly resemble Penises
-_- fucking creepers...

wonderful game for anyone with a good inner child, so far the only feature that I find lacking is the lack of anyway to move the spawn/respawn point after the world is generated, becomes damn troublesome if you die and you built your home 3 billion miles from where you spawned.

Excellent. Nice to see that Notch will get another million units sold after this review.

This makes me consider getting the game more. Wierdly enough however, I am still reluctant to spend $20 on it, because I don't really know if I will like it. I wish there was a trial or something.

Fisherprice Shoggoths? That's what I'm calling the spiders now.

Speaking of Creepers, one time my friend and I had built this epic island fortress, with a moat and all sorts of good fun.
Then a Creeper walks up, kills us both and blows a hole in our house, flooding it as well as blowing half of it up.

Well, unless they learn how to fly, they'll never get into my floating stone spider fortress of awesomeness, which should have fire on top now that I think of it... (starts up minecraft)

Great review. Very funny.

Why do the "walking Bushes" AKA creepers, look like penises? Oh i get it.... theyre "dicks" for ruining your creations..... xD

I really need to give this minecraft a try, its just...that paying for a beta..., oh well.

Well, technically, you're pre-purchasing the full version, which allows you to play the beta until the game is finished.

Wait... but... what? He liked it!? My god... the only thing he commented on negatively was the lack of a tutorial. This is a landmark ZP episode, and is very possibly the most revealing proof of Minecraft's greatness so far.

Remember, he did like Portal as well. :)

And if you can make YAHTZEE like MC, then the world has officially ended.

Jabberwock xeno:
Seems like a game i'd like.

Is it free, does it have a demo?

There's the classic edition, which is very outdated, you can try that!

I just realized that my single most important goal in garry's mod was to ride a train. I think I'll resurrect that goal for Minecraft.

I'm from Glasgow and I love what people view it as :P

It's generally a nice place, at least in town if you encounter a drugged up space cadet they're only likely to fall at your feet and drool on your shoes.

In the rougher areas you're likely to get stabbed by 3 year olds.


Fucking creepers.

Seriously fuck creepers, those things keep spawning in my castle and force me to repair my second floor

More torches! but yea they have to be one of the most sleazy enemies devised

Been playing minecraft since early alpha and it has gotten easier (maybe It's just because I know how things work and not to hug the creeper) but it still likes to be a bastard and put skeletons on spiders and send them charging on my walls -.- Yet after all this time of playing I haven't actually gotten bored and always find fun making a giant house inside a mountain with lava flows all over the place. Little did I know I had made the perfect anti Yahtzee base.

I remember my first time in Minecraft. "Yes i finally finished my house, about dam time!" "sssssh" "The bloody hell is th-". Bloody boom....dam creepers.

Well, that's it folks. Everyone in this universe officially loves Minecraft. Let's hear a round of applause for Notch for creating glactical peace.

This gave me a brilliant idea: Escapist Minecraft server? :D

I think EVERYONE has tried to build a skull fortress, hence why they are epic...

Now I just need a mod for sharks with laserbeams on their heads.

Dont you mean sharks with frickin laser beams on their frickin heads.

OT With all this Minecraft talk as of late, I really might have to see what all the fuss is about. It does look like it could be a massive time sink though.

I was wondering if Minecraft was worth playing... Now I REALLY want to play it!

I hate lava so much. I always fall in some lava just when I decide to go back to the surface to store all the diamonds and iron and whatnot...all of which will burn along with me. It's one of the few things that make me rage.

great review i was surprised Yatzee liked it
and very true

my goal has lately been the construction of my own personal skyscraper higher than the mountains
though right now its only three floors high

Epic review, kept the lols flowing through the entire thing and the ending is a masterpiece haha =D

when I started I was like "What is this peace of crap!" three days then passed and there I am building a fort to keep the monsters out to have a spider riding skeleton jump over my wall to just ruin my day. oh and now spiders can clime wall to, and so I now build cactus forts! Clime that you fucking arachnid!!!

Well.. that pretty much sums MC up better than I ever could.

I am surprised that Yahtzee took the high road when it came to describing the creepers

I've been waiting for Yahtzee to review that one. He never disappoints, does he?


Now do Dwarf Fortress.


Fucking creepers.

Seriously fuck creepers, those things keep spawning in my castle and force me to repair my second floor


Anywho, I quite liked this review, and if you're wondering why it took ages for the Escapist to load, the fact that half of /v/ invaded to watch might make a bit of sense.

Wow, I'm actually surprised that he liked it.( At least, I think he does. It's sometimes hard to tell.) It's an awesome game, and it definitely deserves props, but at the same time my cynical little self didn't think it'd be up his alley.

It's funny that I never really truly understand what Minecraft IS. Like...really is. So apparently there are kamikaze shrubberies?

Slight tangent, that was the funniest intro I've seen in a while.

I don't really find that getting the items at my whim makes it unsatisfying. I've been playing on a server where we can ask for any items we want and I would have never created my glass pyramid/reverse pyramid stacked tower of several thousands of blocks if I had to mine all of it. It makes giant projects more feasible.

I'm pretty glad this game got reviewed.

I saw screenshots and some in-game footage, yet I still couldn't understand what that game is about.

And sorry about the flood, Yahtzee, I hope things get better for you.

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