Gallery of the Day

8 Cute But Deadly Creatures You Just Want To Cuddle


Today, let’s go through eight seemingly cute creatures that will kill you the first chance they get.

The Slow Loris looks like a tiny little cuddle monster, but in reality it just want to kill you. Their venom causes painful swelling, and is the cause of at least one death.

Dolphins may look like the cutest thing with a dorsal fin, but in reality they are godless killing machines. They’ve been known, on more than several occasions, to attack humans. In Australia they’ve started attacking surfers for shits and giggles.

Moose may look like giant cuddle monsters, but they’re monsters you definitely should not cuddle. These woodland murderers attack more people than wolves and bears combined, often caused by them being startled and attacking. They’re most dangerous when you hit them with a car, which will almost certainly kill whomever is in the front of the car. That one is not a joke. That is actually just a really sad true thing.

When people think of elephants they normally think of Dumbo, but in reality these giant mammals would like to see the end of humanity. Male elephants will enter villages at night, where they destroy homes and kill people.

This frog looks so colorful, you should touch it. Wait, that frog is the poison dart frog, its poison can and will incapacitate you. If you find yourself alone in the jungle leave these cute little creatures alone, there are giant cats that would appreciate the attention more.

The leopard seal looks like the puppy of the sea, I bet they’re soft and just love attention. But I would be wrong, these creatures second only to the killer whale when it comes to Antarctica’s top predators. They will eat penguins, other seals, and if they happened across you I don’t think they would say no. Don’t let them catch you sleeping, because that’s when they’ll strike.

You’re thinking, “Why should I be afraid of an anteater if I’m not an ant?” You’d be mostly right, but also mostly wrong. These creatures have huge claws that could disembowel any human if they wish at any time. Thankfully since the 1857 Anteater Peace Accord they’ve been relegated to the wilds.

At first glance you would think that this little creature just wants some love, but in reality this Wolverine would rip you limb from limb and not feel any remorse. Their lack of remorse is what makes them such horrible creatures. They’ll kill and kill, sometimes just for the hell of it, and at the end of the day not think that they did anything wrong.

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