Not all films get to see the theater, some don’t get seen by anyone. They can’t all be Paul Blart: Mall Cop, some movies just aren’t good enough, or just can’t get a distributor. So get ready to appreciate some films that you will never lay your eyes upon.
The Interview is the most recent film to be pulled before its theatrical release. The reason being that Sony, the film’s distributor, pulled the film is because of hackers that have threatened terrorist attacks on theaters that were showing the film. Many believe that the hackers are from the sunny tourist destination of North Korea.Their interest in the film stems from the film’s plot of a television personality being tasked with assassinating the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un. It makes more sense when you think about the fact that Sony is based out of Japan and North Korea does have the capability to launch a weapon at the sovereign nation, and they’re just crazy enough to do that.
Humor Risk was the Marx Brothers first film, the movie was shown publicly once and then subsequently pulled indefinitely. The film was released in 1921 and the title parodies the 1920 smash hit Humoresque, so that explains the title, but the reason that it was taken from theaters was that it was just bad. One story is that Groucho was so unhappy with the poor quality of the film that he burned the negative after its premiere. Another story being that it was accidentally thrown away when it was left in the screening room overnight, either way the film apparently sucked so we didn’t really lose anything when Humor Risk disappeared.
The Day the Clown Cried was originally meant to be released in 1972, but since the film’s director Jerry Lewis wasn’t happy with the film he pulled it before it ever made its way to theaters. The film centers around a clown in a concentration camp, overall a cheery story, I mean how could something with a clown in it be depressing. To quote Jerry Lewis, “…in terms of that film I was embarrassed. I was ashamed of the work, and I was grateful that I had the power to contain it all, and never let anyone see it. It was bad, bad, bad…”. So don’t expect to see this film any time soon.
Cocksucker Blues is an unreleased documentary documenting The Rolling Stones 1972 tour to promote their album Exile on Main St.. The film was ready to go until the band actually saw the film, once they saw that the director decided to show them as they actually were they decided to pull their support of the movie. The band decided that the doc was embarrassing and possibly incriminating, considering that the film shows Mick Jagger snorting cocaine before going on stage they aren’t that off with their objection. Thanks to the director taking the band to court a judge said that the film could be screened but only when the filmmaker, Robert Frank, was present.
Most films on this list were made with a theatrical release in mind. 1994’s The Fantastic Four was created just so the production company could retain the rights to the IP of The Fantastic Four. See, if you have the rights to an IP and you don’t do anything with it the rights can revert to someone else, with this in mind Constantin Film paid Roger Corman to produce a film. Roger Corman is a legend in the industry, but he’s a legend for his ability to produce films on the cheap. On the other hand Roger Corman is the 70’s and 80’s version of Ed Wood, so the film was basically doomed from the beginning because it was never going to be good enough to perform well at the box office.
Monster Butler is the true story of Archibald Hall, a serial killer that posed as a butler to rob and kill his employer Roy Fontaine. The film was set to star Malcolm McDowell and Gary Oldman, and even with those two stars behind the project it still never got off the ground. The film’s stumbling blocks came in the way of poor financing, the film didn’t get finished but maybe someday in the future it may actually get a release, but until that day don’t expect to be seeing this film.
The Creature of the Sunny Side Up Trailer Park shared the same fate as Humor Risk, it was shown once at an advanced screening then immediately shelved. The film was directed by Nicolas Cage’s brother Christopher Coppola (pictured above), whose other directing credits include 1988’s Dracula’s Widow and 2000’s G-Men from Hell so you know that it was basically going to be shit from the beginning, yet it was so surprisingly bad that the people behind the film took a loss and made sure that no one would ever set eyes upon this disaster.
The Debtors was intended to be released in 1999, but because of legal issues the film will not be released in theaters any time soon. The film is about a group of people with various addictions as they meet up at the gambling tables in Las Vegas, and stars Michael Caine and Randy Quaid. The reason that it hasn’t gotten a theatrical release is because of legal battles regarding possession of the movie, to the point where the director, Randy Quaid’s wife Evi Quaid, was barred from screening the film. From all reports the film wouldn’t be winning any Oscars but according to Michael Caine it was at least fun to make the film.
