This one sat here for a good week, one edit away from “done”.

But this particular week held disaster, emergency, busywork…

Nothing important, but time consuming.

[B]Then[/b], late Wednesday night trying to sleep, I started thinking (the wrong thing to do when you’re trying to sleep).

For the first time in maybe ten years, I was scared of death.


It was horrible.

Last night I was set to finish of my column, but this mood hadn’t yet passed… that’s a mood you can’t even edit a column in… not this one…

I subjected myself to Re-Animator, Bride of Re-Animator, Evil Dead 2, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, and the last hour of Dead Alive, which I found on the tape (I like this channel- other’n Dead Alive, that’s all from two nights)… then Donnie Darko, just ’cause I had the extra hour.

Crawling off to bed at 7 AM (adjusted), I felt alright.


I’m not much of a player killer.

But, still, a few days before the PKL patch, I went to get my [u]weeping sword[/u] (see how long columning takes?).

A combination of my habits of discovery and just doing things half assed, I looked up the start of the quest (the widow) and started.

Got a portal to Ayan Baqur in the market, lifestoned.
Aaminah sent me looking for a portal somewhere between Glenden Wood and Holtburg.
I looked between Glenden Wood and Holtburg.
About everywhere between Glenden Wood and Holtburg.

Running, I started talking with a guild mate on dIRCal who wanted to do the quest too.
He wonders if he’s still flagged to enter the portal, I says I didn’t know there was a flag, then the portal says there is.

I’m recalling back to Ayan to start over- though I guess I never really started to begin with- he starts running for the dungeon…

Up on the roof of the house (why can’t I have hooks like that on my roof) I finds some silk, some bark, and some cider.

At the very first of the dungeon, I’m told, there’s a locked door.
So my little-used skills as a locksmith are needed.
…and someone’s waiting on me.

Silk points me to this tailor in Sawato, she tells me something I think was important…

I stole her shoes. It was funny.

Anyway, Sawato doesn’t see much business, especially the tailor, sos I assume the huge group outside is on the same quest.
I wave, an’ head to the subway (in my dusty new sollerets) and make the mental note that I have to beat them to it.


Next thing’s cove apple cider, so I head out to see Lubziklan Al-Luq in the orchard.
Lubzikan points me to Ulgrim.
I go see Ulgim, who drinks the cider.


Next’s the bark, and I’m clueless.
I ask around, and someone tells me it’s for Celcynd, of course.

Of course[/i].

Logic of that escaped me, but I head out to see Celcynd, who refuses to take the bark and screams at me for a few minutes.


Confused, I head back to Ulgrim’s, where I find the group.
They seem to know what they’re doing, so I decide they’re my enemy.

I asks for a bit of help, but they’re already moving on… I have to hurry now.

Oh but before I go, wonder of wonders, I finds my treasure.

A big pile of treasure, just sitting on the ground.

I’m rich! I’m wealthy! I’m independent! I’m comfortably well off!

Ulgrim ‘aint looking, sos I take off with it.

My dusty sollerets touch down at the Ayan lifestone, I drop a few stray bits of gold, but they’re nothing to the hoard still in my pack.

Back at the house, I finds a second mug I had missed earlier; this mug goes to Ulgim, who [i]then points me to Celcynd (and failed to notice anything suspicious), who now smells the bark and tells me where it came from.


So then he sends me out looking for this piece of wood or something, I finds it there along with a dead member of the group.
He says he’s fine, so I move on.

I really don’t like codes, especially the mess inscribed on this wood, so I cheated on this part and got the coordinates to Oswald’s lair…

Of course, everyone already knows it’s Oswald that killed Jaleh, so this’s no real surprise.

Anyways I get in, and Oswald starts insulting me with some magical message thing… oh I don’t like that; sos I go on even if the other guy’s still waiting for me in the dungeon (I’m pretty sure he had logged out by then anyway).

I head into the first room, where I find another group member approaching this puzzle box, which suddenly drains him to death.

I stand there, staring at the box a good minute; seeing what it looks like, how it moves, all that… finally I just walk up and click it, and I’m in portal space.

…later, I look it up, and it’s a lockpick skill check… real clever Oswald, real clever…

Next room was even more subtle.

The ballroom had the entrance at one end, the exit at the other; many platforms floating in the air in between…

And all the rest were rolling balls of death.

Oswald tells me I’ll try to cross, then he’ll get my stuff when I rot.

See about that, see about that.

I jump, jump, jump, blindly across the platflorms, chucklin’ quietly at the moron I hit a lag spike and fall to my death.

I didn’t get very far.

And so drops some death items, my fire/frost five ring (oh well, too bad, though I did kinda like it), and my treasure.

Guess I didn’t have the appropriate death items to cover a 100,000p heap of gold…

Yeah, well, it’s late, I’m beaten.

For now.

Heading back to that somewhere between Glenden Wood and Holtburg, I get in the flagged portal (passing another of the group), Jenoba (the guild-mate) logs in, and we start.

This is when the quest starts.

I’ve no idea what everything up there was…


[b]–BBQ Bob[/b]

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