As you may know, The Escapist has been following the strange campaign of Gamecock CEO Mike Wilson for President of the ESA. While the candidate isn’t actually a member of the ESA, and doesn’t know what it stands for, he does have some really good ideas about how to have fun.
The fact the post of ESA President isn’t democratically elected hasn’t seemed to faze Candidate Wilson yet. What just might is the following.
Earlier today, The Escapist received a shocking letter – with pictures – from a woman claiming to be an illicit lover of the candidate, and mother of his love child. The femme fatale, a former God Games Catholic schoolgirl, alleges her liaison with Candidate Wilson took place at last year’s E3.
My name is Lisa. I was a Catholic schoolgirl for GodGames’ Promised Lots
during E3 from 1999-2001. At that time, Mike Wilson and myself (along with 3-5 other schoolgirls, depending on the time of day) enjoyed many backstage escapades. I’m not necessarily proud of it, I know Mr. Wilson was married, but hey… Those were crazy times. It was a new millennium and there was that Y2k bug and then the pressure of the whole “Farewell Tour”, plus it’s not like his wife wasn’t around for some of it.
Last year I joined the Gamecock funeral procession for E3 in Santa Monica, along with several other mourning former E3 ‘booth babes’, and reunited with many old friends from those times, including the Wilsons. Well, one thing led to another, and this time, other than a “Gamecock taught me to Yodel” Tshirt, I left with one other little gift, that I can no longer keep a secret… not while Mr. Wilson is running for ESA President. I still like the guy, (and especially his very hot wife, actually), but this is a serious election and the gaming public needs to know the truth. Especially now that Mike has announced that his eight-week-old son Douglas will be his VP.
The truth is that there is another little Mr. Wilson, and I think that you will agree there is no DNA test needed to prove it. We demand fair treatment and that little Benjamin gets a place in the presidential cabinet as well. He’s actually older than this “Douglas” boy, so in my eyes Benjamin should be first in line for the VP job, but we’re willing to negotiate, if and ONLY if Mr. Wilson comes forward and faces the truth publicly.
You can bet we’ll be at BE-3 at Hotel Figueroa next week as well.
The Wilson camp has been tight-lipped about these accusations, but an unofficial spokesperson, speaking anonymously, has indicated an official statement could come as early as later this afternoon.