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It’s hard to fault Snake’s parenting skills given his own less-than-ideal upbringing. Still, killing your own dad once is fairly damning, but by the third time it’s probably time to admit you’re not really a family-ties kind of guy.

Some of you may glance at the chitinous armour surrounding today’s joke and call me a thoughtless monster glibly exploiting human misery for the entertainment of base strangers. That isn’t true at all. I’m a thoughtless monster glibly exploiting human misery for the entertainment of base strangers who have played Metal Gear Solid. It’s a minor distinction, but I feel it’s significant.

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