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You could have Saturdays instead of Wednesdays if you want. I mean, you’re obviously a busy guy, what with you owning parts of the English language and all. I suggest you take the settlement and not go for judgement here, because this scotch isn’t going to last forever.

Travis Taylor is a longtime writer for Gamepunx magazine, where he reviews games and alienates readers by replying to earnest fanmail with senselessly vicious personal attacks. You can reach him at travis@gamepunx.com.

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