Why don’t you jerks stop pussyfooting around and just make November 1st the official release date of all games everywhere? Then you can spend the entire holiday season cock-blocking each other, and the consumers will have no idea what the hell is going on. Everyone can just choose their games based on which ones have the biggest sequel number on the end.

Travis Taylor is a longtime writer for Gamepunx magazine, where he reviews games and alienates readers by replying to earnest fanmail with senselessly vicious personal attacks. You can reach him at [email protected].

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