I have to keep reminding people that I actually like shooters. No, really. I spent my wayward youth consuming those frantically paced and humorously blocky shooters of the mid-90’s. I’m not complaining that shooters exist. I’m just frustrated at how homogeneous, bland, and uninspired they all are. Generic main character. Preposterous, yet lame, story. Implausible chest-high walls. And a constant smear of brown pixels that covers the spectrum from mud to rust. I can’t point to any single shooter and say, “I don’t like this game.” They’re all fun. It’s just that they all feel like they came off the same assembly line. Pizza is good, but if every brand of pizza tasted the same, I think I’d get sick of that, too.

Some people are suggesting that the upcoming Xcom game (yes I’m still on about that) will have all this great base-building strategy, weapons research, and financial management between missions. You know, I really hate you people for getting my hopes up like this. I was content to just make fun of the idea and move on, but now you’ve planted this image of something new and interesting in my head. Now when they come out with: “Xcom: Generic Agent shoots alien dudes from behind chest-high walls in brown corridors” I’ll be crushed. So, thanks for setting me up for that.

Shamus Young is the guy behind this website, this book, these three webcomics, and this program.

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