Stolen Pixels #19: Assassin’s Greed

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Evil corporations are your go-to guys for modern-day villainous shenanigans. They’re quickly supplanting Nazis and space aliens as the favored videogame bad guys. They build extravagant, sprawling facilities, they employ huge jack-booted armies of faceless security thugs, and the only things they produce are zombie outbreaks and products that murder their customers.

I don’t mind a good face-off against Evil Co. every once in a while, but I wish games would at least offer an excuse as to where these guys get their money. As someone who has his own scars from the dot-com-bubble-pop, I can assure you that being broke is far more deadly to a corporation than an angsty protagonist armed with kung-fu and three days’ worth of stubble.

Then again, maybe it would make them seem less menacing. How would Desmond feel if he found he’d been kidnapped by a company famous for on-the-go snacks and breakfast cereals?

Shamus Young is a programmer and writer by trade, videogame nitpicker by inclination. If you have the patience for more of his ramblings, they can be found at ShamusYoung.com.

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