Francis is my Mary Sue here, wielding a weapon I only wish I could obtain. An instantly reloading shotgun would change (break) the game in ways I can only fantasize about. As someone who is working diligently to conquer survival mode in Left 4 Dead, I have become quite intimate with the various weapons in the game.

I have discovered that the shotgun is a ridiculously overpowered implement of the gods, a zombie-harvesting monster that ejects a roaring, room-purging fountain of death. To stand next to someone using the shotgun when you are holding any other weapon is to feel shame.

Until the other guy’s shotgun runs dry, anyway. The weapon takes so long to reload that it might simply be quicker to wait for your foes to die of old age than to wait for your avatar to finish cramming shells into the thing.

Shamus Young is a programmer and writer by trade, videogame nitpicker by inclination. If you have the patience for more of his ramblings, they can be found at

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