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The safehouse marks the end of a level in Left 4 Dead. They are not nice places, although I suppose that’s relative. Any quiet place will seem nice after a night of gunning down and running from the howling infected.

Still, sleeping on the concrete floor and grilling cat meat a few feet from the paint bucket where you take a dump is a side of the zombie apocalypse that you usually don’t get to see in the movies. Thank you so much Valve Software for your tireless dedication to verisimilitude.

Also: Ew.

Shamus Young is a programmer and writer by trade, videogame nitpicker by inclination. If you have the patience for more of his ramblings, they can be found at ShamusYoung.com.

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