Oh, I forgot to mention the booze. The booze this year was mind-blowing.
I dunno what was in the scotch I had Tuesday morning. All I know is that in the middle of the afternoon I was sure I’d traveled through time. I remember standing in the hall where a bunch of people were yelling at me for shoving, cutting in line, and throwing up on them, and when I looked up there was a display for The Secret of Monkey Island.
After that, I did what any sane man would do: I went back to the bar and got more scotch. I asked the bartender if he could give me something to send me forward in time so I could get back to 2009. I must have overshot though, because when I went back to the convention people were talking about Left 4 Dead 2. I dunno what year it was, but given how long it takes Valve to make a sequel I figure it must have been 2015 or so.
Travis Taylor is a longtime writer for Gamepunx magazine, where he reviews games and alienates readers by replying to earnest fanmail with senselessly vicious personal attacks.You can reach him at [email protected].