The Escapist Roundtable

The Escapist Roundtable #2: Zebra Killin’ and Penicillin


Welcome to The Escapist Roundtable discussion. This is an ongoing feature where members of The Escapist team sit down to discuss a question of importance to them. We hope that this roundtable serves as a starting point which our readers, in the comments section, will take to new and more illustrious heights.


This week’s question is: Now that Grey’s Anatomy is finally a videogame, what other TV shows deserve the videogame treatment and how would they play?

Tom Endo: Clearly Man vs. Wild needs its own videogame. And as far as I’m concerned it only needs to be about one thing – Bear Grylls eating nasty crap. I think you’ve got two levels and in the first level the object is to catch and bite the heads off of as many snakes as possible. The second level, which I’m sure everyone has already guessed, is devoted to eating zebra carcasses. There’s also a two player mode where the second player is a camera man who hands Bear cheeseburgers and milk shakes in between takes.

Jordan Deam: Animal carcasses are good, but I’m still waiting for Six Feet Under: The Game. The continued success of Atlus’s Trauma Center franchise proves that gamers enjoy rapid-fire feats of manual dexterity and human anatomy. Why does the fun have to stop with the patient’s heartbeat? Six Feet Under: The Game lets you hone your artistic abilities on the ultimate canvas: a mangled human corpse! All your hard work pays off when you get to see your grief-stricken customers’ tears of pained recognition. It’s a perfect fit for the Wii.

Kara Japhet: I was about to say “ew” but then remembered that there’s a large audience for this sort of stuff.

Tom: As long as Sia’s “Breathe Me” from the final episode plays in the background consider me in on the pre-order.


Jason Smith: Let’s take it back it a step before the funereal home to a hospital in Princeton, NJ. House. House needs a videogame. In the tradition of typical television-to-game conversions, it would have to be a kart racing game for the Wii. As a Mario Kart-clone, you would race through settings from the television show, including a level dedicated to that episode where House spends the entire time in a wheelchair to prove it’s easy. Make sure you keep grabbing that Vicodin, or your pain meter will go up and you’ll find it harder to steer. The art style? Chibi – kids these days love cutsey anime.

Jordan: I like it; very surreal.

Julianne Greer: Twilight Zone! You could do one huge world of weird in a full length game, but really, the Twilight Zone would lend itself well to DLC or episodic content ( to harken back to last week’s question ). With the crazy characters and surreal situations, the Twilight Zone provides a great opportunity to really transport a player into a game’s setting that is, by its very nature, a mystery to solve, or a dangerous situation to be averted.


Susan Arendt: While we’re on the topic of mysteries and episodic content how about a Lost game that doesn’t suck?

John Funk: Lost I imagine being better as a sort of Diplomacy-esque tabletop game. One person is given the clues to get off the island/is a spy and no one knows who. Also I would like to see some developers go back and try and tackle Reboot. I mean… really. The game practically writes itself.

Jon Hayter: I think we’re all missing one very obvious choice – Fox News: The Game. Whenever things happen in the real world, a pop up occurs (like in Civilization 4). A series of options appears for how you would like to report the news. The goal of the game is to balance sensationalist reporting (which gets you viewership), with accurate reporting (which allows you to retain your press passes). A perfect gamer would maximize revenue while juuuust barely hanging on to the ability to call yourself a news agency. Kind of like how it is on TV.

Meghan Murphy: I can’t say that would’ve been my first choice for a game inspired by a Fox property. I was thinking more along the lines of say Arrested Development: The final hunt for George Sr. You are on the hunt to catch George Sr. before he is caught by the US government. This game would be like Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? with clues, journeys through many countries (especially Iraq) and model homes. Watch out for the government as they try to thwart your search and trick you into giving George Sr. away! Also watch out for Sadaam Hussein look-a-likes, mentally retarded girlfriends and meddling family members as they ruin everything.

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