The gamer themed Rolls-Royce couldn’t have been worth the cash

A tech entrepreneur has made car news today, as Rolls-Royce showed off the custom design job it’s done for one of its Ghost Black Badge cars. The roughly $400,000 car has had a few subtitles thrown on it, but good lord does the “gamer aesthetic” just about ruin everything it touches.

I’m not a car expert, but I come under the banner of people who excuse Top Gear or The Grand Tour, because everyone is allowed at least one show like it in their rotation. I am, however, a person with eyes and some modicum of taste. While subtle and fairly inoffensive when it comes to the wee 8-bit aliens on either side, someone at Rolls-Royce should have told whoever was doing the interior to stop.

Embarrassment lies inside the gamer Rolls-Royce

As soon as the photos on the Top Gear website slid across to reveal the two steps into the car that read “Press Start” and “Level Up”. What’s next, the voice-over guy from The Game Awards saying “WORLD PREMIERE” when you open the doors?

It’s tacky, and it gets tackier with the orange seats that say “PLAYER 1” to “PLAYER 4”. They also sport the little alien guy.

According to Rolls-Royce, “several Rolls-Royce clients are actively engaged in this growing market”. Imagine buying a Rolls-Royce and then slapping a direct video game reference on it. Now imagine there being “several” of these people. They live and breathe amongst us.

There’s no way this took a month for them to come up with

All of this was designed by Joshua McCanless, a Bespoke Designer for Rolls-Royce. According to the press release quote, McCanless and the team spent “a month” “immersed” in the 8-bit aesthetic. He goes on to add:

“As well as capturing the distinctive colour palette, mood and atmosphere of this rich source material, we wanted the client to feel that the motor car itself was an immersive experience – and that every time they stepped inside, it would recreate the same thrill they felt when they pressed ‘start’ on an arcade machine for the very first time.”

I’m sorry, what? You slapped the most generic possible references to the video game world on one of the most premium, legendary car brands around. If the team had immersed itself properly, there’d be a bit more than “PLAYER 1” and “PRESS START”. There’s not even a hint of Mr Do or Dizzy on there.

Rolls-Royce’s paint job is like this barrel-scraping level of research. I wouldn’t be surprised if more time was probably spent on the placement of the aliens than actually thinking them up.

The “Gamer aesthetic” infects everything it touches. It’s settled down in the last couple of years, but everything is still too angular or trying desperately to look cool. You’re a damned PC part, why do you have an illuminated ridge? You’re going to sit inside a PC case, looking away from me, and playing gacha video games.

It’s why I opted to stick with my very boring, ergonomic chair, because there’s just nothing worse than shovelling in a gaming chair into a room and having it stick out like a sore thumb.

There’s just so much to pull from the 8-bit and arcade era that a couple of basic phrases and lumping this customer with an embarrassment machine. How cool would it be if it were all 8-bit foods or items you’d find? Everyone loves wall chicken and energy blobs.