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The World of Warcraft Funeral Crashers – The Stuff of Legends


In this episode of The Stuff of Legends, Frost tells us about a funeral held in World of Warcraft that went terribly wrong.

Hey, let’s not be hasty! Oh thank god, I thought it was loaded. Regardless, point that anywhere else, and I’ll give you a story that’ll put a little yee in your haw. 

Act 1

May 2006, three characters sat around camp, drinking to their heart’s content. Molasses Firewater, it’ll get ya to where you need, just don’t drink it near any open flames. These three gentledrunks were well acquainted with the effects of the sweet spicy brew and were no strangers to a little skewed vision, but maybe some gunpowder had gotten into this particular batch. It didn’t have them seeing double. They were seeing viguple. Twenty. Twenty strangers had snuck up and were now surrounding the three. Wasn’t the most impressive feat of conjoined stealthery, victims of firewater were about as hard to catch off guard as a chicken dinner. The leader of the three took another sip for social acuity.

“You’ere,shaeshothersh-hic?” Maybe a few words were missing from that question, but in his mind he was in a state of heightened eloquence.
One of the twenty stepped forward from the pack, firm eyes betraying nothing. “What?”

“I said, are you here the same as the others?” The head of the trio was starting to get used to the machinations of his own mouth again.
“Oh,” said the firm eyed leader of the twenty. “Yessir, same as the others. And might I say it is an honor.

“No, no, no. The pleasure is mine.” A smile crossed his face as he looked for a suitable surface to set his drink. “I was just saying to my cohorts here, what this lovely spring night is missing is a good unholy brawling.” He shook his head and chuckled to himself as he readied his favorite mace. “Heh, ain’t been nothing but funerals since that funeral”

Act 2

About the author

Sebastian Ruiz
Sebastian Ruiz joined The Escapist in June 2021, but has been failing his way up the video game industry for years. He went from being a voice actor, whose most notable credit is Felicia Day mistaking him for Matt Mercer in the game Vaporum, to a video editor with a ten-year Smite addiction, to a content creator for the aforementioned Hi-Rez MOBA, before focusing his attention on game development and getting into freelance QA. With a lack of direction, Sebastian sought out The Escapist as a place to work with like-minded individuals and fuel his ambitions. While he enjoys dabbling in all kinds of games to expand his horizons, even the worst roguelikes can get his attention.