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Legendary science fiction writer Theodore Sturgeon is today perhaps remembered for an off-the-cuff debate retort turned arch-pragmatist life advice that has become known as Sturgeon’s Law: “90% of everything is crap!” And he would know — because in addition to authoring some of sci-fi’s most widely read stories, classic episodes of The Twilight Zone, and core aspects of the Star Trek canon, he was also responsible for inspiring this infamously bewildering 1974 TV horror film about a possessed bulldozer, Killdozer!. No, you didn’t read that wrong. 

This is The Big Picture Schlocktober with Bob Chipman, talking about Killdozer!, the movie (not the other one).

Bob Chipman
Bob Chipman is a critic and author.

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    46 Comments

    1. No Big Picture went out on Tuesday this week as Bob was ill.

      Enjoy the last Schlocktober of the year and we’ll return to our normal schedule with The Big Picture on Tuesday of next week.

    2. Out of all the heavy construction vehicles they could pick to turn evil, they picked the slow, not particularly mobile one. It’s like they had an interesting idea that they tried to execute in the least interesting way.

      1. BACKHOE-RROR
        SCREAMROLLER
        INSANE CRANE
        DUMPTRUCK AMOK

        They could have had a whole evil construction equipment cinematic universe!

        1. Evil construction vehicles? Those are the Constructicons, from Transformers!

        2. I’m stealing Screamroller. Dunno what I’ll use it for, but a good name cannot be wasted.

    3. “I got a feeling we’re going about this wrong”
      I hope the writer(s) at least did a double take when they penned that line.

      1. It’s the catchphrase that should be atop the poster for Killdozer! aka Doze to Death.

    4. I actually remember watching Killdozer on the Early Science Fiction Channel. I actually liked it. But then again I also liked Monster CLub so make of that what you will.

      As for the reason why I think this was back when possessed vehicles were the fad. You had ‘The Car’, Terror on Wheels’, Christine, MAximum Overdrive, and probably a few others that I can’t recall. Killdozer seems to be just them trying to find some new spin on the fad.

      1. As terrible as Maximum Overdrive, it begins with Stephen King’s cameo-character at an ATM declaring, “`Honey, this machine just called me an a$$hole.” It’s only entertainment value is as MST3K fodder.

        1. For me, the best part of Maximum Overdrive was the soundtrack provided by AC/DC. But I will give you the point on the MST3K fodder for the rest of the movie.

      2. Those monster vehicle movies came out after Killdozer, which was mid-70s. The Car was late-70s and the Stephen King possessed vehicles phase was an 80s thing.

        There had, however, been an ABC made-for-TV movie of the week horror a couple of years earlier which had been a huge breakout hit and was built around a threatening truck: Spielberg’s Duel. Maybe ABC just thought that the secret to that movie’s success was that people just liked TV horror movies about vehicles

    5. and then there was that dude who actually BUILT a Killdozer.

      Look up “Marvin Heemeyer” some time; it’s a trip….

      1. donoteat had a pretty good thing on him
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yvl_7_Up7zU

      2. I think I heard of that guy in a Cracked article. He built an armored shell around his dozer and loaded it up with guns.

      3. I think I heard of that guy in a Cracked article. He built an armored shell around his dozer and loaded it up with guns.

      4. Yeah, he was mad over trying to stiff someone and being fined over some zoning violations. No one was killed, but what an ASSHOLE

    6. I heard of this one! Also, Happy Halloween!

    7. If people wanna watch machines mutilate people go watch this. Seriously it’s hilarious and you might learn something. Also there’s a chase seen at the end with a backhoe and a bulldozer.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BxD66YRpVw

    8. I want to say there’s an MST3K episode where the guy and the robots are singing “Padding, padding, pad-DING! Padding, padding, pad-DING!” because that’s what came to mind watching the slow Killdozer clips (i.e. most of them). I also thought back to The Nostalgia Critic singing his “Filler” song.
      Oh well. Happy Halloween, everybody!

      1. If MST3K reviewed this, they would need an IV solution of Red Bull to get through this.

    9. Don’t those things move at 7 mph max or thereabouts? Even slower in mud or sand? They could literally just run/drive/bikeride around ahead of it all day and wait for it to run out of fuel.

      1. You(and a number of others) clearly have put more thought into the script then the writers did.

    10. And that is a surprisingly milquetoast ending to Schlocktober 2019. Can’t wait for next year

    11. Christine this ain’t. Nor Maximum Overdrive.

      1. Not even a coked-up Stephen King could save this.

        1. Or the 1997 version of the original short story Steven King made..Trucks. That atleast has the epic scene of a RC truck crushing a guys head. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBDz_xoxYbc

          1. Watching that, I can’t help but be reminded of that one Family Guy joke. https://youtu.be/tMZONL8x8NE

    12. How do fuck up a haunted bulldozer? This is so easy.
      Just move the thing to an area where there is more stuff for it to smash. Then have the space ghost monster start jumping into other machines as each piece of equipment is destroyed, have it ultimately get into a tank or something else that is too hard to destroy, and then introduce a ticking clock, “We can no longer stop it and it is headed toward the governor’s mansion” or something and then have them find some BS answer at the last minute.
      Basic shit.

      1. that would require a budget.

    13. I’ve seen work place safety videos about bulldozers that had more action than this. Better music too.

      1. I watched safety videos while I was in the Air force, you’d see guys running in parkas on fire because they were made in the 80s/70s to show how dangerous jet fuel was. They were far more entertaining than this schlock. Plus they had supernatural destroyer of planes Freddy Fod magically appearing like a fifth dimensional imp played by a dwarf in a crew chief outfit. Which FOD stands Foreign Object Damage..aka stuff getting sucked into a jet engine.

    14. I hope you feel better soon, bob!

    15. Ya know if they change the title (cause of the real guy and all) this could be like a fun action/horror film, where a self animated bulldozer just crashes through like a highway instead of a construction site and sell it as like a destruction porn michial bay thing. Or since we’re talking Bay, a Decepticon movie where the bad guys never leave their vehicle forms and just kill people and like ya never see the robot form until the end credit scene where the bad guy transforms.

    16. Is something happening?

      1. Other than a whole lot of nothing?

    17. Dafuq did I just watch?

    18. Oh, FFS! Somebody bring in Emperor Tyrannus from Attack of the Super Monsters to liven this up!

      First time a Schlocktober ended not with a bang or a whimper, but a ZZZZZZZZZ…

      P.S.

      I hope Bob is feeling better and, after learning about a loss in the family, my deepest condolences go out to him.

    19. I’m not really interested in seeking out this movie to watch it but do they ever explain or even try to, you know, just run up behind or at the sides of the damn thing and jump on? You know, kind of like how infantry would storm a tank, except a tank has a gun.

      Hell, shouldn’t the damn thing just run out of gas after driving for long enough? From what I understand, construction equipment are fuel hogs(which is one reason they get transported on trucks when not being used).

    20. Yikes. I’m honestly surprised I’ve never seen this.

      Well it’s good to know there’s a worse “Possessed machine goes on a rampage” movie than Maximum Overdrive or The Mangler.

    21. Wow, the one time Schlocktober actually ends on Halloween, and you cap it off with slowest, dullest, worst edited, most pointless episode you could muster.

      Okay, it’s representative of the movie you were talking about, but as you yourself noted towards the end, who was this for? Was boring the shit out of your audience really they way you wanted to wrap up this year?

      I love Schlocktober, but as time’s gone on, you’ve become increasingly reliant on clips to flesh out the run times, meaning that long after the point’s been made, your audience is sat twiddling their thumbs till you get back to your analysis.

    22. I’m not really interested in seeking out this movie to watch it but do they ever explain or even try to, you know, just run up behind or at the sides of the damn thing and jump on? You know, kind of like how infantry would storm a tank, except a tank has a gun.

      Hell, shouldn’t the damn thing just run out of gas after driving for long enough? From what I understand, construction equipment are fuel hogs(which is one reason they get transported on trucks when not being used).

      1. We saw footage of MULTIPLE people just sitting/standing there as death (slowly) crawled toward them, I have my doubts.

    23. Oh, yeah. I remember the Colorado thing. Not good.

      Anyways, Killdozer seems as mundane as an horror movie can get.

    24. I think you’d get more excitement watching that Shake Hands With Danger short I’ve seen on Rifftrax….without the riffing.

    25. This movie should have been titled the cure of insomnia. People have more excitement filing their taxes than this movie.

    26. Killdozer is so boring that it almost put me to sleep in this brief video. Man, what a snorefest.

      Great job s always, Bob. I’m always sad when October comes to an end, because it means I have to wait another whole year for more Schloctober fun!

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